A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I need some advice please. My partner and I are both 26, he works away and is only home on the weekends and I work part time and an full time in Uni. We have a great relationship and get along fab! The only thing we argue about is.....sex! He always wants sex a lot more than I do, we had a row about it last night and now are not really speaking! This is affecting our relationship and I don't know what to do or who to talk to! He initiates sex probably about 90% of the time which annoys him, I just don't know why I don't do it?!? We have been together nearly 2years, we used to have sex a lot when we first got together but I now have developed a lazy attitude towards sex! We have sex twice a week (on weekends) when he's home, three times if we're lucky. I feel that this is fine but sometimes my lazy attitude towards sex annoys him! He gets frustrated if i ever turn him down ie if i am tired. I feel bad after but I don't know how to get rid of this!!!! Pleaseeee help!!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): I don't think you're lazy, I think you don't want to because you feel so much pressure to have sex with him every time he asks. Why would you be in the mood if you feel you are doing it because you have to and not because you want to? If I were you I'd tell him to back off and stop pressuring you. He has to realise that sex isn't something he is entitled to any time he wants it. You have to be in the mood too and his incessant whining at you is killing that mood dead.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): Chinese dragons
Yes i completely agree with you i was in a relationship before with a man who wasnt fussed on having sex and it made me want sex more. Where as my current partner now comes home on the weekend and I feel under pressure to make sure I have sex or he'll get annoyed.
I have said before that I will make more of an effort but I am just worried that after a while I will go back to being lazy again which has happened.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 January 2013):
 You are having sex once a day. So quantity is not the problem it's not quality. He would prefer you to spice things up. He doesn't want you to have sex as a way to deal with him and placate him. You can initiaite more often so it's not always him on the spot risking rejection. He just wants to feel desired. If you are sore down there, or dry, give him more handjobs and blowjobs. You can't initiate if he does not back off a bit. He needs to know at what time you are the most energetic so he can take advantage. You are not tired every hour in the weekend.
Is he the type that has sex for hours, because he takes too long to cum? That could be the reason why you are tired. Try to shorten the duration each time. Make some variations. Sometimes it can be a few quickies. Sometimes you can have a hour long section but just once in while.
We get lazy because it is human nature to take things for granted when we know the person we are with is constant. The person with the higher sex drive will fear losing his constant supply, and therefore ask more and want more of it. The person with the lower sex drive do not want to be engulfed and will withdraw.
In other words, people only have high sex drive when compared to a person with a lower sex drive.
When I am in a relationship with a man with a higher sex drive my sex drive gets lower. When I am in a relationship with a man with a lowers sex drive my drive gets higher. Now that I am single I have no drive.
Get it? We only want something we can't get when we are presented with a person who can't give us that need.
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