A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I feel as if life is just over. I've spent the past 10 year just raising my children alone, its wrecked my career and now I'm unemployed. My eldest daughters just gone to university the youngest is on her way. Both are happy loads of friends. I'm very depressed and lonely but very good at hiding my emotions. My kids are happy and independent. I don't want to say anything, just want to get on and get over this. I started to cry in the supermarket today, just going for long walks. Who do I turn to? I've never asked for help all my life.
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female
reader, kellyO +, writes (17 April 2007):
 Hi there,
I'm sorry you feel down at the moment. That is how my mum felt when i was leaving to uni, she actually started crying and hasd to be restrained. I felt very depressed seeing her like that and i would call her constantly from school just to find out how she was doing. It is going your are trying not to let those feeling show especially to your kids.
Why not try this. Join a charity group. Start making friends. If you are sporty u can join a sport clubs. Plan your entire week with events like messages in a salon, cinema, outings with friends, church event on sunday.. Anything that you like and will keep you busy. When you make up a schedule list to keep yourself occupied i'm sure everything will turn up good.
Hope this helps. All the best.
Kelly
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007): I understand your feelings. One very unwise thing we men tend to do generally is to "bottle up" our feelings/problems and deal with them alone. If you have no close friends or family you can talk with, don't reject the idea of joining a support group for people like yourself. Also, stay busy! Keep working the job market. You certainly have the experience many are looking for. Most men your (our) age are at a critical point in their lives even when things are going well. You are not alone, so don't make yourself even more alone. The "empty nest" syndrome affects all parents. Single parents may suffer more. But you will pull out of this. You are fortunate that you have a couple of "winners" for kids. You have done a great job. Be proud of that. And be proud of yourself in other ways, too. You should have a great life ahead. Get out there and "give 'em hell". (smile) Best wishes. And report back any time. Tom
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