A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have feelings for a guy friend that i'm housemates with, we used to be really close, he would text me all the time, buy me presents, take me out and buy me drinks. But over the summer he got a girlfriend and told everyone but me. I found out through someone else and was devastated, up until then I had thought that we had something special as we would talk for hours about everything. I cant understand why he treated me like i was special to him then just changed so suddenly. I want to be happy for him as he seems to enjoy being with his girlfriend but I feel so jealous and hurt even though I also feel I have no right to. Should I tell him about my feelings or would that make things awkward seeing as we live together. Maybe I was wrong in thinking he liked me in the first place, but I think about him all the time. I don't want these jealous feelings to eat away at me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): Maybe he thought of you as a great friend. Why didn't it develop beyond that do you think? It seems may be you have feelings for him that were different to his. Now he has a girlfriend you risk your friendship if you spell it out now. You would also feel very awkward. Why not try to stay a really good mate for now. You have a choice, you are going to feel either a bit jealous, or a bit awkward if you put your cards on the table. Should he be free again perhaps that would be the time to make a move.
A
male
reader, Love-Wisely  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 You have every reason to feel hurt and upset. Don't even try to fight that. The fact that you are housemates -is rugged! Housemates can be very intimate without quite hooking up. I have seen this heartbreak in party houses. People in pseudo-couples with housemates up until the *instant* a new lover or ex appears. It is the equivalent of being dumped in a good relationship.
There is definitely a reason he didn't tell you he had a GF. It could be a number of things. I'm curious for you to ask him why. Sober in private -if you feel like it. I think it shows he did have feelings for you. Consciousness of guilt. He knew this would be a door slam to the face.
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