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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello. My problem is quite stupid but here it is. I'm 21 and have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a month. We really love each other, but I get really jealous, and it's sick, but I can't help it. I lost my virginity with him, but he lost it like 6 years ago with a girl. They just dated for like 5 months, but I keep thinking he'll compare me to her. And also, like two years ago, he flirted a married girl who he said was really beautiful, and made every man stare. He says I'm better than them, but I keep feeling worse and jealous and it makes me cry to think of him having intimacy with other women, since we are so intimate now. Please help, we keep fighting and I keep feeling insecure.
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flirt, insecure, jealous, lost my virginity Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2005): hi, it's me again. i think we broke up. yesterday i felt terrible, i think our love has been terribly shaken. and today we argued and i said it was best to go separate ways, that it would be the best for him. i think i'm driving him crazy, and all i want is for him to be happy, so i better leave. i'm sad. :(
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): Your fear and insecurities are going to eventually destroy any relationship you have, or set you up to be abused due to an increasing amount of low self-esteem. You should see a counselor so you have a great and fulfilling life free of these fears.
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A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (18 December 2005):
 You need to start loving yourself.
You must learn to believe and trust in the unique and special person that you are.. with that, you will certainly gain all the self- esteem you will ever need... a lack of confidence and self- esteem is the cause of you feeling inadequate, which is the root of the jealousy problem you are experiencing. Try having a more positive attitude about yourself, and know how very precious and important you are in the greater scheme of things ... and you will find that negative emotions like jealousy, will disappear from your personality iin no time, if you consciously work on it.It is really that simple.
Have an attitude of gratitude about the living of your life, and LOVE YOURSELF COMPLETELY and with that, will come an inner peace second to none. Really... it does work. Wishing you love, happiness and inner- peace... and the success in your relationship that you desire.
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A
female
reader, kcrankypants +, writes (17 December 2005):
hey girl! i totally understand what you are going through. i went through this with my last boyfriend. we went out for 5 years and my jealousy was always a problem. he didn't even have girls he hung out with. i was always really jealous that he would leave me for someone else. he lost his virginity when he was 18 years old and i'm still a virgin and he respected that (that made me insecure as well that he would compare things to his ex girlfriends with the intimate stuff we did) our relationship has now ended due to the jealousy and insecurities. anyways enough about me, its you we need to talk about. girlfriend, you need to pull your socks up and get some kind of counselling. i'm not a counsellor but i do know that this ended up my relationship. you need to work on your insecurities/self esteem and jealousy which all tie in one. if you don't seek some self help your relationship will fall apart. i'm still working on myself and its difficult but not impossible. its nothing to be embarressed about either. work out the real problem within yourself and bring it to the table. if you don't want counselling, pick up a good self help book (dr. phil, ha ha). anyways, i loved your question because you seem so much like me. good luck, i truly hope it works out.
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