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female
,
anonymous
writes: I would like some help please. Basically I have caused a serious amonut of damage to my relationship and have caused my boyfriend to distrust me because I lied to him about my past and my drug addiction. There has also been a few other issues that have come up and these have also become problems. I really do love this man truly and would do absolutely anything for him. I so want this to work as it's the first time in my life that I have ever loved anybody the way I love him. I am not good at expressing myself through talking and my inability to do so is causing this relationship to dissapear right before my eyes. He has done all the talking in trying to make this work and I can't deny the fact that he hasn't done that. I love him so much but I seem to run away from him whenever the issues need to be confronted. I know that by doing that it makes me look like I don't care. The thing is I do care but I just don't know where to start. He means the world to me and I don't know what I would do without him. Can you please give me some guidance of where to start? thanx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic myself. I am now in a new relationship and struggle from the same emotions you do. What I have done is just tell my ex how hard it is for me to express my feelings. He accepts this and is really patient with me. But, by me telling him that way he knows it is not that I don't care. It is just that I am scared. You are probably just scared of getting hurt the way we did when we were using. Just tell him that it is hard for you but you are trying. He should understand this and give you time to open up. Good luck. Just be honest. If he loves you like you say, he will totally accept this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): If you don't do drugs anymore, and don't have these addictions currently, he should accept the fact that it was your past decisions, and they do not reflect on who you are now, and they do not change your feelings for him. It may be hard to speak to him about this subject, I can completely understand that. But trust me; I'm a guy, and I can tell you that girls who are honest, and open about things get a lot of respect from guys. It is going to be difficult at first to respond to him when he confronts you about the situation, but what you need to do is just relax, and talk to him. If you would do anything for this guy, you need to make him realize that by talking to him one-on-one about the subject, even though he knows you are uncomfortable with it. What would work even better is if you brought it up to him, instead of waiting for him to speak to you about it. That shows him that you trust him more than anyone, and for that, he will respect you and have a whole better look on you. He will feel like you think of him as more important than anyone else in your life, which, as you stated, is true. Trust me, just suck in in and give it a shot!
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (20 August 2006):
 I think maybe you should get some professional advice to find out why you find it so hard to express your feelings. Without doing this, it is very hard to ever overcome problems within your life and your life with your partner. Even if you never find out why you keep everything in, maybe you can work on some strategies on how to be expressive when with your partner.
It sounds to me like you are desperate to make this relationship work and I think you do need to try and talk to him about this. You don't want him to slip away before you've even had chance to work out your problems and start working them out. What about writing a letter? You wrote this to us so maybe write something similar to him telling him how you feel and tell him you are going to get help. If you can't do that, just show him this letter you sent to here.
If he really loves you, he will see from this that you want to work on what you both have. Maybe there's a lot of work to do but it sounds to me like you are ready to try. Good luck
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