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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm a mother with a 15-year-old son.Recently I found out my husband has been involved in doping in sport with people from work; it's caused furious arguments between me and my husband; with him insisting he has the right to do it, as long as it doesn't harm anyone.I heard however that he has been doping people for 18 months now; I have no idea how he managed to keep it secret for so long.I was thinking of divorcing him; but my son has been astonishingly forgiving towards him for it; but I'm worried.I don't know what to do or where to go next; I am so upset the only time I feel happy is when I am in work. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006): Honest advice is one thing but acting like you want to get him in trouble or "punish" him by divorcing him is another.
You know NOTHING on the subject, just the hype you read in the papers so I find your reaction pathetic and spineless. Get off the man's back and start acting like you're part of his family and not some fickle turn-coat, you could learn something from your son.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): Can I ask a question.? If you only found out today BUT your son is taking out his anger at stress management classes it would all seem a little contrived....I mean, you went to the police straight away as well??
MMM!!
Not sure if I believe you to be honest, sorry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): willywombat wrote;
Hi there.
As you know about this situation AND if it can be prooved in a court of law that you knew about yet didn't do anything about it, yes, you could get into trouble.
Do you want your husband to be punsihed for this or do you just want your son to agree with you and see this in the same serous light you do?
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I actually went straight to the police and told them everything. They accepted I had no part in this and found no evidence of drugs in our house.
I found out off my husband's boss that this activity was taking place; my husband has done a runner and his mobile is switched off. The boss told me the police are investigating his employees, not him, and that they are satisfied.
Our son used to worship his dad; now he's disappointed and angry and has taken out his anger via stress-relief classes.
Now I'm worried, and don't know what to do next.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (16 July 2006):
 Hi there.
As you know about this situation AND if it can be prooved in a court of law that you knew about yet didn't do anything about it, yes, you could get into trouble.
Do you want your husband to be punsihed for this or do you just want your son to agree with you and see this in the same serous light you do?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2006): willywombat wrote:
This is ileagal and if you are found to be involved it could have serious implications for you. How is he involved?
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I didn't find out until today; so I'm not involved as such.
My husband told me he got paid large amounts of money to do the doping.
He refuses to discuss it any more; and still claims he can do it if he wants.
And our son still forgives him.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (16 July 2006):
This is ileagal and if you are found to be involved it could have serious implications for you. How is he involved?
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (16 July 2006):
 Doping isn't a harmless pursuit. Read this story and tell him about it, he could end up in jail:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/03/09/world/main1386761.shtml
You are entitled to be angry, and your children may react differently because they haven't got an 'adult' perspective on things. Basically only you can decide if this is grounds for divorce - perhaps mediation would be the better first step as this can be helpful at getting people to resolve their differences.
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