A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help, i'm 29 and was happily married for five years with three children when my husband told me he had an affair, the reason he told me was she was blackmailing him. I was wrong she is pestering me by phone, text, E-mail, facebook, in person. i have an anti harrasment order out on her but still getting msgs, i have tried so hard for the kids but he keeps telling me lies about what happend. I can't take anymore but can't leave because we owe rent and cannot have my name or his taken off the tenancy. i'm stuck and he is as nutty as a squirrel. Shouting screaming throwing chairs and smashing doors because i don't want to be with him anymore. what can I do please help me....
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): I agree that kicking him out would be the best idea if you feel he is not really dangerous to you or the children and that he won't try to retaliate. But ultimately I feel it would be best to leave that home when you can as it will have bad memories for all of you now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Even though his name is on the tenancy, you can kick him out. If you're the sole source of income what the hell do you need him there for? If he watches the kids, use the money you would save on food for him and his son and put your kids in daycare. Being the only adult in the house, you could probably get the state to help pay for it so you can work. The next time he throws a tantrum and starts breaking stuff, tell him to get his sorry ass out or you'll call the police. If he doesn't get out then you can call and they'll remove him. Get a restraining order and then it really doesn't matter if his name's on the lease or not, he still can't come on the property. It really doesn't anyway though. All it means is that if you default on the rent, they'll come after both of you whether you are living together or not. Unless you make a lot of money, DHS will help you out until you can get back on your feet completely. You don't have to leave, if he doesn't contribute to anything except your heartbreak, kick him to the curb and tell him to make sure the door doesn't hit him on the way out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Ok. I would do anything you can asap to get out of the situation, do you have any friends who would help you out? Or maybe you can ask him to leave and stay with someone else for a while. If you have no desire to reconcile maybe he can go and stay with the gf. That might stop her from harassing you also. In the meantime, don't do anything to antagonize him, tell him this will be an argue free zone and you will both agree not to engage in conflict for the sake of the children. Hopefully he will agree to that. Then when you are able leave financially, do it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, its not as easy as that though i have nowhere else to go and no family to stay with, i cant save for a bond as my name is still on the tennancy, I work so cant claim anything and am supporting him and his son as well as myself and my two children, so not a lot of spare cash anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): If you can't go to a shelter do you have any family you can go to stay with? I think that would be the best solution. You shouldn't stay in this situation it sounds dangerous.
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