A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello, im needing a advice please. My husband and me are nearly 8 years living together. We actually dont have much problem when it comes of everyday routine. but now we are having a problem regarding of buying our own apartment. My husband is 28 years older than me its not really the problem when it comes to our other special matters. But in this case with buying our own apartment, we are having some problem which i really can not understand. We have enough budget to buy it but still he cant find his courage to this thing. He always ask an advice to others friends or even not really a close friends. We talk about this for already 2 years and we are always having the same problem. Friends whom he ask an advice always tell him no' dont take that place theres a better place over there,there, there and there. But this there is a imagination of them. They keep saying theres a better place and more cheap but that better and cheap place they cant show it. I was searching all alone by my self and all i found is all negative to his friends and he always follow the friends thought untill the buying is already pass and another years again will come. im trying to speak to my husband about this' that if we always depend on other people decision in our life, we can not drive our own life anymore. Our life is not anymore ours. He always say im right, but thats all what he said and still do nothing but just follow the friends advice. Today we have a big fight because im trying to work on it alone and the result is always negative to him. I told him, id rather live my life alone cos i cant stand it anymore. But in my heart i cant leave my husband, i love him to death additional to that is im pitty to him if i left him because he is not that young anymore. But what can i do in this situation? How can i deal with this? How can i handle the situation. Im really tired and the only thing i think is just go away.. Please help any advice.. Thanks a lot..
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): You are making such a mountain out of a mole-hill...That he is asking other peoples opinion that are not close to him seems to me he doesnt want a biased opinion....Buying a house is a huge commitment and one has to be really sure before going into it..I'm sure he has his doubts too that is why he asks others..Not until he gets a place where he is sure wihout a doubt is the right one, he will always be hesistant...You on the other hand want to take a dive straight in, but as he is older and he is more careful....Stop making this a my marriage is at risk issue..It shows me you are quite immature yourself...Have a sit down and try to really understand why he is hesitant...In this economis climate I dont blame him....You should be really careful where you put your money and you have to consider worse case scenarios after you have made a commitment eg if you lose your job etc....He may have other financial and security issues worrying him..You need to talk to him calmly without nagging and in a loving way to find what his real worry is...Buying is a house is not something you rush guns blazing...The other people are not necessarily making his decision , only confirming his doubts
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