A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am juggling with a serious situation ., My husband has been exposed to hiv at work he is a health care provider. He is given post exposure prophylaxis now.we have to wait and see what happens in future.my husband is the best human being you could ever look up to..i was a healthcare provider but currently I changed my career.i am very scared of hiv as one my friend got exposed just like my husband did.,from then am extremely scared of hiv.,I may sound judgemental.but I am empathetic ,can not control my fears about hiv.even though I know the ways of transmission ,am still scared of what if I have a unseen cut ,what if it comes in contact with infected fluids.,kind of paranoid.i have 10 month old daughter.now am scared of future.i love my husband to core.i can not live with out him ., at the same time I am not able to control my fear living with him.i know hiv can not spread through casual contact.,still not able to hug my husband .whatever decision I take ,it might sound selfish.my husband does not think I leave him.,sex is not a requirement for me.even I get separated ,he will be the only man in my life.now I am not able to focus on parenting ,nor my newly started college or care being given to my husband .feel like running away.you may say therapy might help.what anyone would do other than therapy ,keep it in my mind that am extremely scared of this subject
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2017): Wow, I really feel for your husband.He's going through what must be an incredibly tough time and the one person that he should be able to rely upon is not there for him. I'm sorry but this isn't about you or your fears. This is about your husband.He's facing potentially contracting a life changing infection (even though the risks are tiny). He could lose his job, his career, his family and his friends.He must be feeling terrible and at this time, rather than being there for him you're keeping your distance. You won't hug him and you're talking in your post about leaving him. You know the risks are tiny, you know how the virus is transmitted so you know that you have nothing to worry about. By all means avoid sex with him until his results come back, I'm sure he would understand, but you have to stuff down your fears and be there for him. You're not an ignorant member of the public, you know what you're dealing with and the risks so hug the guy and please tell me that you're not letting your irrational fears affect his contact with his child.
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (24 October 2017):
Darn! I feel your sadness.
Have you ever heard of Magic Johnson? He was one of the world's greatest pro basketball players, now long retired and a very successful businessman. He contracted HIV 26 years ago, shortly after his marriage to Cookie. They are still together, happy and healthy. They are very open about their situation and, being celebrities, there is much on the internet about their successful relationship. Google "Magic Johnson HIV" and "Cookie Johnson HIV", and you'll find out that things have really worked well for them. Cookie has even written a book about their situation. This should give you lots of comfort and advice.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 October 2017):
 The likelihood of him actually having caught HIV is low. With the meds out there these days again, it can be managed and it can be treated to a point where the virus is negligent in his system. Which means passing it on is also highly unlikely.
TALK to your doctor or his.
He will probably re-test in 6 months and in 12 to see where he stands.
HIV+ is no longer a death sentence. Doesn't mean it isn't scary.
https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/livingwithhiv/index.html
https://www.avert.org/living-with-hiv/health-wellbeing/taking-care-of-yourself
https://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/ss/slideshow-hiv-myths-facts
Here are some links to get you started.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2017): Wow, this is serious. You do have a right to feel stressed. Try not to worry until you know. Talk to your regular doctor so you can really educate yourself on this. When you do educate yourself you will find out chances are very low for transmission. You do not know anything yet so hope for the best. Do not make any decisions that can affect your life now as you are in shock and need time to process this. Go do something fun for a day just you. Do not allow yourself to think about this for the whole day... Like just take a break from your stress for 1 day. Sometimes that helps me. I go shopping and grab lunch. You really need a break you will be able to think clearer and feel better...sometimes 2 days of shopping is needed. Lol
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