A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:While we are having sex, my husband wants me to help him imagine that he is fucking a really hot whore. I try to do it at times, but it becomes very difficult to digest it and live with it. As a result i am very disturbed about it. Please advise. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, John 407  +, writes (21 April 2015):
hi
i have experiences like this with my wife but we enjoy it and our sexy lifestyle makes us happy, we understood that we can enjoy each other more if we do more in sex, we have a newborn baby girl, we are a couple same as other people but i think in bed we're different, lol
i like to mention that every Christmas we go to a trip in another country, we like night clubs so we search for a whore and a man there,then we do a nice group sex,best wishes
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): been married for 8yrs.and I can say I have no more sex life w/ my husband.he only get turn on if I talk dirty like I fucked other men and he wanted that for real but I won't do it so he has no desire to have sex w/ me and I'm the same way.I am 34yrs old asian average body but he is always calling me fat,whore that really makes me feel so upset.I am getting tired putting up w/him.sometimes he goes in my daughter room I try to understand since the pc is there but I think something wrong w/him coz he is not my daughter dad.what I don't understand is he's telling me he just finished jerking off in my daughters room and that means he don't wanna have sex I just think he is sick or should I call him pervert.he fantasize about teenagers or me fucking other men and he want me to have sex w/him after.now I don't even want him to touch me I hate him for making me feel like nobody would like me coz I know I'm not ugly.
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A
male
reader, Kewlstix  +, writes (25 May 2009):
Well....it's not difficult, as a man, to understand what's going on here. He wants you to act like a "really hot whore". Really Hot bothers you? He's attracted to you. He has fantasies that he lets you in on. He is trusting you to act this out with him. He's letting you in on something that would emberass him if you started telling everyone what he is asking you to do. So...you're married. Do NOT betray his trust by complaining to your girlfriends, who in turn will tell their husbands, who in turn will treat him with disrespect, or some other hurtful manor. So...with that being said... Let's move on to the actual advice.
Have you thought about how you can pull this off, and enjoy it? There are little tricks that have proven affective from time to time. First... Your name. What name does he call you during this time? If it's the same name he uses when you are sitting at the dinner table with your kids, or at a family gathering, then you need a nick-name. I usually use my wifes middle name. Do not associate the same name that your pastor, mom, dad, friends use with your private name.
The clothes. Do you have special clothing that you use? Probably. If not, get some. Clothing that you keep separate, and never wear at any other time, except for servicing your 'john'.
Learn the terminology of the trade. And don't sell yourself for free. If he wants this, make him pay for it. Really. Tell him that you want some cash for doing this. It adds to the mood, and since he is expecting this any way, why not?
Find a way to have fun with it. A woman can learn to enjoy something just by rethinking it. Only a woman has that power. It's an incredibly awesome gift that a woman can do this. (Oh God...the times I wished I had that power....)
The most important part of this is trust. A woman that tries to enjoy what her husband wants, and truly offers herself to him without making it ugly, angry, and regretful, will create a trust that can not be explained. If you put yourself into it, and he knows that it's not really your thing, but you are having fun with him just for him, then he develops a trust in you that he will not even realize. It's something that can only be experienced. As a man, the more a woman has constantly submitted to my desires, and not made me feel stupid for asking, has always, and I mean ALWAYS, has been treated better then anyone else. I feel closer, confident, and more of a man. I don't know why. I would stop and get roses, or a little charm, or something, just because. If she didn't get angry about the...not so good gifts, and accept them a little smile (I know, sometimes sleazy nightgowns aren't what you may be looking for, but...), then of course, I would continue to present more gifts. Eventually, we stumble on some cool stuff that you might actually like, lol. But rejection, anger, mistrust, betrayal, and all manor of ugliness associated with a once very desirable fantasy will always end in affairs, and divorce.
If he's a man, and I mean a real man, then he will begin to think of you all the time. He won't be able to help it. The more you make it truly enjoyable for him, the more he will trust you, and fall even more in love with you. He always think 'she does this just for me' when no where else in his life, or at any other time, will anyone do things like this just for him. If he's a man, he wouldn't even consider what another woman has to offer, because she wont come close to what you two have already established. If he does....shoot him in the groin. (Just kidding, lol)
Hope this makes sense, and that you can get a little bit out a long answer. lol. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): My guess is that there are other issues in your relationship that compromise your intimacy availability and/or trust.
Regardless, no one should ever do something they feel 'disturbed' about. However, this is your husband. This means you should know him extremely well, and nothing about him should 'disturb' you. It is an insecurity within yourself to not be able to say, "Hey, Tiger, I don't like being called a whore, but I'll take care of whatever you need...."
That said, a marriage evolves and people change. The recipe for success is learning how to grow together and respect the needs of your partner. He needs to respect your need to not do things this way, and you need to make an effort to satisfy and explore what he likes about that fantasy to find an option that works for you.
When my partner suggests something, I'm so into the act that words are irrelevant and never personal---I know that. Him calling me a whore---do I really think he MEANS it? Of course not. I can tell by the way he treats me outside the bedroom. I love fulfilling his desires, even if it means pretending I'm someone else---who cares? He's with me. It's a game, a sport, an act, and part of a healthy relationship to explore together. It makes us close and we feel safe being able to share those things without judgment or embarrassment.
It's just an opinion.
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A
male
reader, Oldybutgoody  +, writes (22 September 2008):
Making love is not always the same. Sometimes it is gently restrained, sometimes more physically passionate, and I would not believe any woman who said she didn't fantasise about her favourite singer/filmstar being the man having sex with her, on occasion. So, wanting your wife/girlfriend to act like a whore is just another extension of love-making, and dirty-talk can be a huge turn-on for some men - it certainly is for me. My lady will occasionally indulge me, but I get most pleasure from her pleasure, so if she doesn't want to do it tonight, I can wait until another, when she does. Go along with him when you feel ok with it, but don't be bullied into it when you don't. If he loves you, he will respect that. If you love him, you will want to do this for him now and then.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (1 May 2008):
 Tell him you are okay with it as a fantasy occasionally but dont let it became a regular habit or you will find he cant enjoy sex without this roleplay. Dress up a bit and suggest a sexy waitress or something instead as an alternative. My hubbie likes me to wear my long hair up and my glasses on and act all prim and proper until the hair comes down then I turn into a dirty girl!!! Fun but its probably only 3 or 4 times a year. Dont worry about it too much and ask him to play out one of your fantasies in return x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): Hi, this may hurt a little but it probably means that as a couple you are not sexually connected (otherwise he would be aware that its a role that you don't like/can't handle).Maybe he finds his love life unforefilling with you. I guess the question is do you explore this with your husband or let him forefill this fantasy/role play elsewhere? Until this happened, were you satisfied?Be comfortable in asking similar of him: you want a big cock/adonis etc and see if he would be willing to indulge you? If he wont then it is unfair of him to ask you to behave like a whore and leads back to your lack of connection/sexual compatability. Would he then be comfortable with letting someone else forefill your fantasy?I would be really interested to know how this goes.Good luck and best wishes
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): My husband does the same thing and it just leaves me feeling empty and less than enough for him. I'm not and never will be a whore and frankly think they're disgusting.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): I found this post researching how to get my husband to start treating me more like a whore an less like a "goddess" in the bedroom. Consider yourself lucky that you haven't been put on a pedestal and left there like I have.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Actually, I like having my husband treat me like a whore sometimes. As long as there are other more romantic times it is okay. It turns us both on and makes us laugh the next day!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): Its nothing to do with porn or with trying to treat you bad. He is simply trying to act out some kind of fantasy that works for him, but for me it would also have to work for you too otherwise where is the thrill of you getting off on sharing the fantasy? Like someone else said, you need to find common ground on this by maybe softening the whore persona into a maid or something that you are comfortable with.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): All I can say is this is normal. Most men would love a woman to be a lady but a whore in the bedroom if they are honest. Just go with what you feel comfortable with. You should never have to do anything that is outside of your comfort zone. You never know if you let yourself go a little at a time, you may enjoy it yourself. You have to find a comfortable balance that will keep your husband satisfied but make you not feel uncomfortable. All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): Sounds like a man that watches too much explicit porn or has actually been to a whore.
Don't help him - tell him to get bent! Would he help you pretend you were riding a hunky man.... I don't think so, he would be deeply offended that he wasn't enough for you. Dont be afraid to show that your hurt by this and certainly don't agree to it, you want respect over sex right?
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Maybe I'm not at all qualified to answer this issue, since I have never hired a woman for the purpose, but I can ask a couple of qualifying questions. What exactly is required to achieve this goal that is different than good, hot sex? Should you set a timer next to the bed with a 30-minute limit? Why don't you charge a fee? I wouldn't know exactly what a "really hot whore" does, but it can't be any better than the desires of an eager woman or girlfriend, because the whore does not care about anything but the money, I presume.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Hi there,
I can imagine how this would be a little disturbing. I have the opposite, my wife quite likes me to call her a whore when we make love but I can only do a little bit as it simply isnt one of my fantasies .
But in your case it is so different, if you are not into it then all he's really doing is denegrating you in the bedroom, which is not on.
Tell him that you want to try something else out. I believe you could reach a compromise, a nurses outfit, or french maid who needs to be serviced? Just an idea. good luck.
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