A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my husband since 1991 and for the past couple of years it's been completely sexless. No matter how hard I try I just can't get him interested. I've asked him to go to the doctor's, take some time off work, anything! He says that he's fine and I've just got sex on the brain. Well, how dare I? I'm 47 now and I'm not getting any younger. Lately, I seem to be aroused as soon as I wake up in the morning. I don't know why. I've even started masturbating again. I've given up on my husband completley. He's happy enough to come home, watch television and fall asleep. But I've found a solution and it was his idea! I'm not sure if he meant it literally but I've put it in to practice! There's a young man whom I work with at the garden centre. He's 27 and an absolute dream. He's gorgeous. We always flirted a bit and he always commented on how beautiful I am. One day I told him about my husband, that he hadn't touched me for two years. To my surprise he said that we'd never be out of bed if he had his way. I didn't know if he was just joking but I got a little flustered. I sent him a text later that night telling him that he can have his way. I didn't receive a response but the next day he took me to a discreet place at work and we shared a passionate kiss. I rang my husband and told him that I would be at work late and at the end of the working day I went to his place. We had the most mind blowing sex that I ever thought possible and he introduced me to things that I never even knew about! I felt like a woman again. My husband is working away for a couple of days starting tonight and he won't be back until weekend so I'm having my sexy young guy round at my place for a couple of days! The great thing about all this is, it was my husband's idea. He told me to find someone who will satisfy me because he isn't going to do it!What I want to ask is: 1. did my husband mean this literally? 2. Am I a bad person? 3. Could there be a future between me and my lover?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): I think you know the answer to your question 'does he mean this literally' otherwise you wouldnt be sneaking around behind his back. Cheating is wrong, period! End it if your not happy, but dont lie to your husband!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): I don't think any fair-minded person can fault you, as your husband gave you clearance to do this (and in a way that implies he doesn't care about you enough to work on your relationship as spouses.) However, you seem to have fixated on the permission to cheat rather than the underlying problem, which is that the spark has gone from your marriage and your husband isn't interested in trying to fix things. Yes, you can patch it over by getting satisfaction from this younger guy on the side, but I think the long-term solution is divorcing your clearly uninterested husband so you don't HAVE to cheat to be happy. Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (6 May 2009):
 On the other hand as a 40+ male, if my wife was not filling my sexual needs, and I had a tryst with a 20ish female coworker, I would get crucified.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): no he made his bed due to his lack of interest its not like he did not tell you too, although i do think you should tell him that you have expressed his wishes, what an idiot he is, think i would question his love and his sanity
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): I wouldn't advise falling in love just yet. Your husband said to go find sex not love. Don't think that just because this guy is having sex with you that he loves you. You gave him an open invitation and he took you up on it. What single guy in his right mind is gonna say no to that?I would have done the same thing in his situation. I do however see a divorce in your future. I just don't think you'll ever be the same now that you got your p@&$& rocked by somebody that actually knows what they are doing. But I'll give credit, most women don't have the guts to do what you did! Your a lil freak in the makng. LOL.
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A
female
reader, Hoochie25 +, writes (6 May 2009):
I think it sounds like the spark has left the relationship with your husband. Have you considered relationship counselling? If that isn't an option then maybe you should consider ending your marriage. Personally, I don't like cheating but it does seem that he has lead you that way and therefore can he really love you? There is no point in staying with someone if there is nolove there anymore. Become single and go out and have sex with as many young, gorgeous lads as you want!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): 1. You'd need to ask him that!
2. No, not really - depending on your point of view of course. You're just a frustrated problem solver.
3. Probably not. He's 20 years younger than you, and if I was in his shoes at his age I'd have jumped your bones too. Some say that sex with a much older woman is like riding a moped - it's good fun but you wouldn't want your mates to see you on it. There are exceptions though!
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