A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband told me yesterday that he was gay. He said he hadn't cheated on me or anything, but felt something inside of him that made him have to "get it out". We haven't had sex at all for the last few weeks, so that explains why he wasn't interested in me physically.However, the shocking thing was - he said he still loved me and WANTS to be straight, and said "I don't WANT to be gay, I want to be like the rest of the population".He was intensely emotional, and has said we can work it through together, and said I didn't have to divorce him (I hadn't even discussed that!). He said if someone could help him become straight, he would really appreciate it.He told me he hates having romantic attraction towards other men, but says he wants to change it, and be attracted to women.He's been so over-emotional today. I have too having heard this revelation.He told me that everything he's saying is honest, open and that he wants to resolve this.How can we deal with this?
View related questions:
cheated on me, divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bobby472 +, writes (20 July 2009):
there isnt anything you can do about this. Many gay people have tried being straight to be "normal". But have ended up hurting their families and themselves. Ive met many guy online that have gone through this same situation (most after being married for many years and having children) and it only ends in pain for everyone. All of them wished that they could go back in time and change what they did.
Ive wanted to do the same thing. But I am who I am. But this is for you two to figure out. The best way to find an answer is to do research. There are alot of people out there (religous people) that say they can "cure" homosexuality. But their practices only hurt the individual. Most times leading to suicide. So if you both want to try and "fix" the problem. Please do your research on sciencetific sites, not religous.
But there have been gay people who have found that special someone who happened to be the opposite sex. They just clicked. Its rare but it happens.
I hope the best for you both.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): you must be i shock at the moment. I would say that your husband does love you and thinks that some how you can help him fight these urges. I watched a program the other day showing a christian movement in USA that help gay people supress gay feelings. The lead man had lived a straight life for 18 years and was married. I have to say that i believe denying who we are is probably really damaging. But if your husband and you want to give tihs a try i suggest you look at websites online.I hope you guys can remain friends if he has to give in to his feelings, we can love people on many levels and one day you will fall for some1 new who is all you ever wanted.I wish you all you wish yourself. Good luck darling try to stay strong.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): I'm really sorry to hear that, I'll bet that is a really difficult situation to be in. Is he bisexual or completely gay? I hate to say it but if he's truly gay, there's not a lot either you or him can do about it, it's just the way that things are. It's a very difficult issue - but trying/pretending to be straight just isn't going to work for either of you, and will make you both very unhappy. Good luck, I hope things work out for you xxx
...............................
|
