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female
,
*aintedhorse4
writes: I have a question on how to 'fight fair' with a couple of situations that have me feeling like I'm hitting a brick wall. My husband's first response to most of my concerns is 'well you do it!' or 'you used to do it!' I used to fall into this and defend why I did in the past or don't do it anymore, until I realized he was diverting from himself (and we never seemed to get back to his behavior). My question is- how do you deal with this type of response? I cannot get him to stop blaming me for all his bad behaviors; it is getting impossible to discuss anything, and I refuse to be a scapegoat anymore. Also, how do you deal with the cop-out of 'I'll try to change' when it never does change? The same arguments seem to be happening because nothing improves (the 'try' doesn't ever work). Thank you in advance. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): Just clearly state that you are not comfortable with his behavior NOW, and if it doesn't change, then you will _________. And be prepared to follow through.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): shoes don't stretch; men don't change
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