A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and my husband are currently living in Japan. He is in the army. Ever since i got here things have not been the same. He has told me he is miserable with me but then a couple days later he says he wants to try to make it work. This has happened so many times. This time he is for real. But he says he does love me. It hurts so bad to know that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. And i have to wait until the military send us home. How do i deal with that? Any suggestions?
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female
reader, Befuddled1 +, writes (1 September 2008):
You are living a tough life over there, away from friends and family and your relationship is probably different there than it would be back home. Perhaps your husband is more disillusioned with the lifestyle than with you but he is taking it out on you.
It is really unfair of him to say he loves you but doesn;t want to be with you and it is not nice of him to change his mind after a few days, he's messing you about.
I know you want to be with him but maybe you should say enough is enough, he is not playing with your emotions anymore and take a break for you both to have time to breathe and consider what you want from life.
You are being wasted on a man if he doesn't value your presence...you've given up a lot for this one!
Also, now is a good time to focus on other interests and regain the independence you had before you got married. Join the gym or a sports team, go to an art class...whatever floats your boat. Be your own person instead of just an extension of him. This will make your own life better whatever happens.
Good luck , I wish you well
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