A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: my husband hardly wants sex. I am always ready and want to. He only wants sex maybe once a month Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (10 February 2010):
I think this problem is quite common in this age group... You need to tell him in a loving and caring way that you miss that part of your relationship. If he is otherwise healthy (no medications for BP, Diabetes, cholesterol etc), if his waistline is under 36 inches and he does some form of exercise eg. 30 min walk every day then there is no reason why you shouldn't have a normal sex life. A good diet is also essential; my partner who is 62 walks 2 miles a day, eats a high fish diet (low cholesterol, high in polyunsaturates) and 3 different vegetables everyday, no alcohol or cigarettes; so he is still very 'active'.
So maybe help him make some positive changes slowly. Perhaps walk together around the block for 15 mins every other day as a start. If he agrees to go to the doctor, then he can have tests to assess his condition. The doctor might prescribe Viagra as well. It could also just be a mental thing if he is otherwise healthy.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 February 2010):
This issue keeps coming up on DearCupid again and again, one way or the other. Either the husband or wife, or the boyfriend or girlfriend, wants more affection and intimacy than the partner. Somehow, I must have been very fortunate during a long lifetime of relationships thus far. Maybe it was pure luck, whether for months or many years, that we had such compatibility.
Therefore, I cannot offer much (if any) personal experience, but my observation would be that such mismatched partnerships leaves one or the other unhappy. We each have one life. All else may be compatible, but deprivation of adequate pleasure to one partner, as needed, seems an unwise beginning. It's true that years, age, health, mental and other factors may affect a loving relationship over time, but compatibility should be emphasized very early.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): This seems to be a common problem at this age. i could almost have been the poster in fact, lol. He needs to see a doctor but good luck with that. It sometimes is a matter of lowered libido as well as a mix of other factors...this age group starts dealing with stress,and medical issues which can be factors such as diabetes and high blood pressure. another problem is that these start causing some ED and when that happens a couple of times most men would prefer to come across as uninterested rather than as someone who cant perform. The best thing is to bring these issues out to him and see if he will talk about it. either way there is help as close as you doctor. He does need to be checked and it needs to be determined that it isn't some serious medical issue. But most cases it can be remedied relatively easy. i wish you well, mal
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