A
female
age
51-59,
*aurusgal2014
writes:I love my husband very much. We get along great. Sex is my only complaint. I'm very sexual and enjoy sex. My husband doesn't kiss or touch me at all when we have sex. Even when I go down on him, nothing...he says he likes it but never touches me or says anything. It's always do it and be done. I've questioned him and still there are no answers. This is all new to me. I think he'd be fine if we never had sex. I'm attractive and take great care of myself. I'm hurt and disappointed and have no idea what to do... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (3 May 2014):
 Some men just have a low drive, and it gets further depressed around women who seem to want it more than they do. It's kind of sad but I think I can give him the benefit of the doubt...it's not that he doesn't like you, just that your sexual wavelengths may not match. I generally have sex with a lot of men and so I'm not too offended if they are a bit distant (I suppose in their minds, even if they aren't paying for it, I am not much better than a sex worker), but you and your husband can probably resolve this by talking. Express your feelings. And a bit of teasing probably won't hurt either. :)
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 May 2014):
 How long have you been married to this creature? ... How long did you and he "court?"
Questions like you've posed should come up early-on in a "relationship".... not much later whence two people are married....
Just for the record.... the behaviour which you've described (by your Hubby) "tells" me that he doesn't give a darn about you.... but likes using you for his sexual relief/enjoyment.
Is that who/what you want to be for the rest of your life?
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (1 May 2014):
 If you are always the aggressor for sex, that could also turn him off. Men like it when women come to them for sex, yes…but how… is also very important. You ever see animals mating rituals?? The female shows her interest, but makes the male work for it. Strippers do not go to the men’s homes with their poles. But the men will travel far to see a woman strip, tease, turn him on, make him want to her so bad he is willing to drive there again, again.Men like the chase, the teasing, until…got ya. You show him what you have to offer, but don’t give it too soon. Let him want it. Think like a woman, not a man. You will be saying “What is this guy talking about, I am a woman”. You will be amazed how many women have the woman parts, but not the woman skills. Example…Back in the yonder years kings had dancing girls…like belly dancers. They would dance and entertain the king and his guest. They would all sit and watch as she got their hormones going…that was Viagra back then…That’s right…women were and still is a man’s Viagra. If she knows how to use her woman skills, men will crawl over broken glass to get to her. I do not expect you to become a dancer or a stripper. But use as many ways to get his attention until you find the one that works best. What turned him on when you got married? What were his sexual interests back then? Take those things to a whole new level, and rock his world.
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A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (1 May 2014):
 Hi Taurusgal,I have a few males I counsel about sexual issues in their relationship. From what you describe it could be that he has a low sex drive and is just giving you sex because he loves you and that makes him just want to get it over and done with.Honestly, and you might not believe me, sometimes men don't want sex. It isn't hard wired into our brains that sex is the ultimate form of intimacy.I would ask him just nicely, "do you have any interest in sex?" because I think he just says he likes it because that is what he expects you to want.There could be underlying health or depression issues underpinning this, I know it's painful when one partner has a higher sex drive than the other. But, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.Hope that helps, and hope you get it resolved.
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