A
female
age
,
*llie1963
writes:I have been married for 19 months we really loved each other and although we are in our 40s we couldnt wait to get married we were together 4 years before we married. Almost immidiatel yafter he put the ring on my finger the sex stopped. We have only had sex 9 times in 19 months. I have trawled web sites for answers, bored my friends to death with it and moved into our spare room as it was making me angry that he could sleep next to me but not even want to touch me. I have been married before in violent marrages and he has never been married but has been in long term relationships. I believe he loves me but i cant live like this for much longer i have to ask fo affection and im a very tactile person. What is the problem?
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female
reader, ellie1963 +, writes (13 February 2011):
ellie1963 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i am a size 12 (dress size) 4 foot 11 tall, very curvey, i am part spanish a guys and friends and my daughters tell me im very pretty, and no i havent changed at all. We did go to counseling once but he wouldnt go again. Drink has been part of the problem for him and he has cut back now which has made things a bit better. He is not interested in much I go tto thegym quite a lot and he comes sometimes but we dont have a lot in common.thank you for taking time to answer my problem though x
A
female
reader, tuliplady12345  +, writes (13 February 2011):
Have you asked him what the problem is? I can't see you- but I cannot imagine that you have changed that much physically in 19 months (or maybe you have, dunno). Have you asked him about therapy or trying to change your routine up? Sometimes prayer works - if simply to give you the strength to hold on until the tide changes.
Or you can find distractions such as hobbies and field trips to soothe your anxiety until your epiphany comes through (either in the form of living through his issues - until you guys are good again, or finding someone who is more "tactile").
Good luck.
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