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My husband makes decisions alone not part of a unit!

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Question - (15 May 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How do you get your husband to understand that as part of a family you are suppose to make decisions together, not one without the other. My husband continuosly goes off and makes decisions with others without even asking me or discussing it with me. I dont find out until he's already made the decision himself. It makes me feel unworthy and unwanted and he just doesnt understand how i feel.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

What is it with women who let men walk all over them(not literally)stand up for yourselves! As for him making family decisions alone if it is religious strudel i can be of no assitance but more info would help x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

Hi

In some cultures/religions it is accepted that the man makes the final decision. In this case the women is expected to be humble and accept his decision. Sometimes if the man makes the wrong decision, it will dishonour the family. If this is the way it was in his family then you will see where there is coming from. If you truly love this man and he also loves you; you will have to come to a balance - where you are happy and he is also. When you are both in a good mood, approach the subject, tell him you appreciate that he is trying to take the lead, but sometimes you feel that he is leaving you out. Give him an example of something he did, then tell him how it affected you. Tell him you love him and want your relationship to work but you feel that you are not loved because of this. Ask him if he could please ask your opionion of something before he decides. tell him you appreciate his efforts and that you love him, but you really need to work together. The way that he answers or tries to rectify things will tell you where this relationship is going. good luck

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A male reader, SexyMik United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2009):

My father was a military man, and he firmly believed that a woman had most of her work cut out with the house work and bringing up children. His job was taking full responsibility of major decissions so as to enlighten the burden on my mother, to make her job easier.

Ok that was a few years ago but it is true that men should share the responsibility of running a home. Then being the strong one and taking the brunt of the bigger responsibility he was as I believed doing mum a big favour to lessen the stress, of course if anything went wrong, there was only one person to blame !

Things are different now as women have more independance and earn as much if not more than the men. I believe that they are now the stronger sex outliving us men !

In this day of liberation your man should be respectfully reminded that women have faught hard and long for equal rights, and that now they do take equal responsibility.

Marriage is a partnership and not a slavery as mother used to say ! and so he should be respectfully reminded that marriage must be equal on both sides.

The breakdown of relationships is caused through lack of consideration and communication.

Talk to him and insist you both be honest and tell him to explain why you are not being consulted and more to the point your feelings of being unworthy and also, dare I say it, not trustworthy as well.

I hope this has proved useful and wish you all the best.

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