A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For the past 3 weeks my husband's been refusing to have sex with me.Everything I've tried didn't work - sexy lingerie, a romantic night in, massages from me, roleplay, wearing sexy bikinis - it all failed. He just showed no interest at all.I asked him why and he said it was because my body wasn't muscular enough for him (like a bodybuilder's), too "supermodel-girly" (in his words!). He is one to talk though (I can't accuse him of being hypocritical as he does have a very muscular body), considering that he does have one due to the many hours of work/training he put in at the gym to get it.I'm not supermodel-thin, but I'm not fat either, just very healthy, and in the middle.Would anyone consider it odd for a man to want his girlfriend/fiancee/wife to have a muscular body before they can have sex with them?I also wonder if he has secret gay tendencies because of this, it doesn't seem normal to me. It's almost like he wants me to become a man, in a way.Then again, he's never shown any sexual interest in men before, so I doubt that he does have any feelings for me, but I'm uncertain, to be honest.I asked him why he wanted me to have a muscular body - and a really muscular one (like bodybuilders) and he insisted it would look good, make our sex life better, and that it would be good for my health.I said to him that it's odd to see women with muscular bodies but he laughed at me insisting there's "no such thing as normal anyway!"What should I do and what's the best way of dealing with this situation so I can get our once-passionate sex life back on track?Christina aka Chrissy
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): I too had this problem with my boyfriend. It lasted two years. He never wanted to have sex. He made up every excuse. I am very much built for it, slender, long-legged, and ample front. I am also particularly talented in pleasing my partner. In spite of this he was not interested. Time eventually unfolded the many reasons: he still dealt with feelings for his ex, he had crushes on and feelings for other women, a huge porn habit, couldn't get past the thought that I'm a mother, a cocaine past, (btw ArmyMedic is onto the right idea if he's a vain, roid boy) and always associated being turned on with the chase of the woman and was turned off by being chased. Total damaged goods. So people have their reasons, and I've decided it is mostly about perception: sex is virtually all mental. I even asked him if he would approve of me getting a buddy for the side since he didn't want sex with me. He said no.
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (13 April 2009):
 This is something I have noticed with guys who spend too much time sculpting their bodies, they feel that nobody is beautiful unless they look like the incredible hulk!
Firstly check he isn't taking steroids, as these can reduce his sex drive massively and although he may think he wants you to be muscular the real reason will be because his sex drive is shot to pieces.
The more I think about it the more I think that this has less to do with him being gay and much more to do with the chemical imbalance caused by his working out/Possible use of "enhancing" supplements.
I'm sure this has nothing to do with your appearance and he has the problem not you!
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