A
female
age
41-50,
*imeer
writes:My husband has lied since day one; he said he was never married and had no children, well about 6 months into our marriage i found out that he was still married. He claimed that his childrens mother was his sister so needless to say i had no idea he had children. I have found out that his sister is his now ex wife and mother of two children; you have no idea the length he goes to lie and you probably dont have enough time to listen. So now i know he was married and two children. Now I find out via state marshall knocking on door that he has yet two more children that dcf wants him to take custody of again. I had no idea and yet again his family claims that he has a daughter which he doesnt claim i am at lost for words pretty confused and extremely depressed i dont know what to do. I know i would like to find a way to find out what else i dont know about his past an inexpensive way if there is one because i am thinking of filling for divorce and need as much proof as i can find. Anyone have any advice for me?
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depressed, divorce, ex-wife Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Melissa 1001 +, writes (11 March 2008):
Email me so we can talk, I'll give you some sound advice on this one.
A
female
reader, Melissa 1001 +, writes (11 March 2008):
Yes, my advice for you is don't waste your time finding out anything else, don't waste your energy. He lied. When a person lies to you, they know they are doing it and it is their intent to deceive and something as big as that, well he is not worth the effort. Do you really want to spend your life miserable and hurting wondering what he is doing next behind your back where your whole life will be drained emotionally?
He thought you were vulnerable and used that to take advantage of your good nature. I know what I'm talking about and I know what you're feeling right now. He won't change, he'll just get better at covering his tracks and being more manipulative where he will eventually turn round and drive you nuts. Take some good advice and stay clear of him.
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A
female
reader, Melissa 1001 +, writes (11 March 2008):
Yes, my advice for you is don't waste your time finding out anything else, don't waste your energy. He lied. When a person lies to you, they know they are doing it and it is their intent to deceive and something as big as that, well he is not worth the effort. Do you really want to spend your life miserable and hurting wondering what he is doing next behind your back where your whole life will be drained emotionally?He thought you were vulnerable and used that to take advantage of your good nature. I know what I'm talking about and I know what you're feeling right now. He won't change, he'll just get better at covering his tracks and being more manipulative where he will eventually turn round and drive you nuts. Take some good advice and stay clear of him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): get out now...before you get pregnant. he doesn't love you or else he never would have lied to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): I am in similar situation as you. You could search public marriage records online or do people search. There's a small fee.
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A
female
reader, aimeer +, writes (1 February 2008):
aimeer is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think i might of confused some when i was telling my story he really wasnt married to his sister he lied to me telling me that she was his sister so i wouldn't find out that she was really his wife and mother of kids she even told me that she was his sister to lie for him but by no means were they realated they were married we got married in nov of 05 and they werent divorced untill 2/06
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): If he was married to someone else when he 'married' you, that's bigamy (I wonder if a third one would be 'trigamy?) anyway, that being the case you're not legally married to him.
I don't think you need a divorce lawyer so much as the police - is bigamy not an arrestable offence in America?
Why bother trying to find out any more truths about him. You've discovered the biggie and everything else is surely irrelevant? The only proof you'll need is that he was married already.
Phil
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
Oh my how very upsetting for you and heartbreaking, Im lost for words Ive been sitting here trying to think. Right Is there anyone you can phone for legal help if you have no money? We have a thing here called legal aid for cases like my marriage was that will pay for the whole works.... You have some evidence love state marshall, You did say he was married to his sister!!!!OH BOY! Can you get hold of the marriage lisence somehow there has to be one if they legally married, Hunny you need to get out of there and find somewere else to stay, This man has lied well more than lied to you from the beginning and you need to get advise is there an advise centre were they can point you in the right direction of everything you need to do like a citizans advise, Not only do they help you with legal advise but can help you with all sorts of things you will need to no. If he is divorsed then its not bigamy but what if thats a lie and he is still married, That would be better as you can get an annullment straight away I would have thought, Oh my heart just goes out to you love Im not much help as I dont no U.S law But I so sorry to here of this awfull situation If you need a chat at any time hunny message me Im only to happy to talk with you for support while your going through this.. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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