A
female
age
41-50,
*adbutliving
writes:A month a go my husband left our home. He said he didnt know what he wanted. We have been married one and a half years and togther 2 and a half. He was going to come home and then met a young 18 yr old girl. He is 24 I am 26. He came back come leaving her a week ago but only stayed a week and left saying it was because I slept with a random guy at the apartment. Now she is pregnant and I am devestated. I dont know what to do I am so hurt. I wanted a family with him. How do I deal with all this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, miss bree +, writes (13 July 2010):
Hi first of all im sorry to hear that! I have been married to my husband for 5 years coming this august.We broke up in febuary for many reason anyway his family kept telling me that he had this 20 year old chick preganant, i knew that he was with someone but i dint know that they were together like that. ( he kept telling me he only wanted to be with me and make a better life for me and our 4 year old son )In april he confirmed that she was pregnant and they were going to keep it. We are still married and im having a really hard time. What im doing is staying focused on other things. I have a great support network that consists of friends family. Im really hurt inside and sometimes dont know what to do but please be strong because god knows that your suffering he to had to suffer so that said he will not take you where he has not been himself!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Please let me start by saying how very sorry I am for you.
My best friend's husband had a child with another woman about 2 years ago. My friend although still living with her husband cannot forget or forgive and this appears to be getting worse the older the child is getting. The husband is forever going round there if the child is sick or to babysit etc etc and it drives her insane. She is pretty laid back but if it was me I would go crazy. The husband always says the mother of the child is not there or at work but he stays overnight and I would be suspicious. My friend is frightened to move on as she has very little money or self esteem and is not sure how she would cope on her own. She was clever and invited the child into her life as she felt seeing him might help but as soon as the mother of child knew she had done this it was never allowed again. This has turned into a nightmare for her although she has handled it better than anyone I can imagine.
Although you love him and it is not the soon to be born childs' fault I would let him go as this situation is never going to go away and it is likely your husband will want to be involved and is obviously going to have to pay financially even if not time wise. I do not like giving this as an answer as in my heart I don't like saying this but watching my friends case for the last 2 plus years has shown me how it is likely to go. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): I suggest that for your own good, MOVE ON.
If he has a child with somebody else, you will never be able to forget about what has happened, everytime you see the child, it will remind you and it will be an additional financial burden.
You might now think you can forgive him, but believe me, you will not forget, and that is not always easy to deal with.
You are still young and can find somebody that can make you happy and have a good solid relationship with, as it sounds as if things between you two were not going to well and you might have been drifting apart for sometime already. This might just be the fianl straw.
Stop hurting yourself about what happened.
Learn from this mistake and look towards the future!
Be strong and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Hi,
I guess whether you did sleep withe the "random guy" is now irrelevant. You don't say whether that is true.
Your relationship looks doomed I'm afraid to say. You might just have to move on, you married very young and in this day and age divorce rates are very high for people who get married in their youth.
If you did sleep with a stranger perhaps the relationshp was over already as you were seeking solace in the arms of someone else.
Time to move on and put it all behind you.
If you love him enough to take him back this other girl will most likely become part of your life as your husband will have to help support her child. This will have an effect on your family finances and is something you will have to seriously think about especially if you want to start a family yourself and money is not in abundance.
good luck.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (19 June 2008):
 That's quite a story. At the very least, I am sorry that you have had to experience all this. Since you didn't specifically mention if his accusation regarding your infidelity was true or not, I am curious... but be that as it may, it seems that in this case, it might be better to cut your losses, divorce your husband and move on with your life. If he's decided to find happiness with an 18 y.o. ...well, there's not much you can do about that. As much as I hate telling people the best thing they can do is cut and run, it seems like this is you best option. If your husband seems unwilling to discuss your future together, it seems you have little choice. But you have your youth and the ability to bounce back from this and find somebody that truly appreciates you for who you are.
Best wishes and prayers for strength!
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