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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: My husband does not care about sex. He is non sexual.. I don't know why. He is like this a few years ago now. He used to be very sexual guy. He had medical check up,and he is fine... He is not saying anything why is that happening. He says he does not know. The spice it up thing , does not do a thing, so I dont try it anymore..It just a mystery. I really dont have any clue, what to do, or what happened to him. He does have erection problems too.But the doctor says it is from the missing of desire.. So I think, it has something to do with desire, but really hard to dig for it what it is. He says he loves me. But I feel so insecure. I wish,if I would know why is this happening. It would be easier to accept it ,if I would know,it is from heart, hormones etc... This uncertain situation,sometimes pushing me to think about leaving a 24 year long marriage with 3 kids.. I 'm in pain.. It is not the sex,it is just the affection, and not to know why it is gone... Please give me some thoughts!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Thanks, It was very helpful and good point. Yes, it is so strange ,when a man does not feel nothing,in bed, yet does not want to leave. I wonder,is this because of fear? Or does he really love the woman,without sexual feelings. It is all too hard to comprehend.And ,yes,at the end, there is nothing else left,than make a painful decision. But how can I do more than I already have done? It is so painful, because, I would love to stay with him, but I cant betray myself..What else can I do ?
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 February 2010):
 A man with an ED problem is not easy to live with . He lacks confidence and have very low self esteem.
To a man , if he cannot get hard,he is no more a man. He becomes very sensitive and withdrawn and all other areas will be affected.
You will need to be very understanding and loving and carry on until he comes out of his shell. He will need counseling to overcome this problem.
ED can be treated with modern medicine.
You can also Google for more info about this topic in the net.
You can read more at this link and follow up the link with net.doctor
http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/my-husband-has-lost-interest-in-sex-with-me/
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): What else can I try? Do you think taking a brake maybe would solve this puzzle? Maybe he would come out from his shell,this way or an other?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): I think,if you tried everything,you should just move on. He has to work this out with himself,maybe he is angry at you for something. Take care of yourself!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): He probably getting something somewhere else.. Time to look around in his personal stuff....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): Just a possibility...is he masturbating too much? my ex became addicted to porn and stopped desiring real sex :(
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): I think your husband needs to see a psychiatrist. Maybe he is depressed,or has some complex psychological problems. He might be very sick mentally. Sex is a primary instinct, it does not just go away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): Hello, simplelady!
Thanks for your response. Could you tell a little more about it ,what do you mean on indifferent? I think,it would be helpful to me to understand. Also, it is not the sex,what I miss the most, but the affection. Also it is hard to live with someone ,who has some weird detachment going on,and you dont know why. Thanks for answering..
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A
female
reader, simplelady  +, writes (19 February 2010):
If the desire is not there and you tried to spice it up. Then maybe try nothing ignore him. I found that my husband gives me some affection when I am indifferent to him. It is the oddest thing. I understand needing affection because I always feel my husband doesn't give me any and I feel insecure too. And if u are sexually frustrated try pleasing yourself. it can be a lot of fun and maybe make you feel better that he is not sleeping with you. Hope things get better for you.
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