A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have noticed that when my husband goes away for work 1day or so and he is coming home he doesnt call me nor let me know he is save. Then i kinda freak out and say to him if been worrying if you're ok. I will kiss him then if he say something like he left later than he said he did im upset and we fight. He told me this morning phone my boss ask him here is his number then take your bags and get the f**k out of my life. I do not need to explain anything to you at all. This is bulls**t! So he is going out for dinner and sports tomorrow again with his boss(its a man) i dont have a problem regarding that its just he never mention me or ask what am i going to do nothing. Oh and yes he says ill be at home So one of our friends well a couple that are married said they will keep me company he told them ill be back not too late he will phone them when he is home they can then make a turn. One of his friends that is coming a very far away from another country will also be here for the weekend so i asked him you know if you are going out with your boss for work stuff He is going to stay at home with me? He says yes he will have to keep him busy but after a while he answered. I am so confused when i told him that we should perhaps rather take the money we gonna waste (he actually its his plans and stuff well for having fun with friends and drinks) and purchase stuff for our home get new linen and perhaps a few stuff. We moved into a bigger place about 5 months ago. So yeah i so wanna make the place nicer and he told me we should think about having kids so yeah.He is rude with his parents but me and his mom is talking a lot to each other. So i may have been wrong telling him why didnt he talked the truth about coming back home. He's flight were 1hour earlier than he told me He hat a small star on his hand with some ink he told me its just a pen mark however it is not because he took a shower i rubbed it a bit and still its a dark sign. He like totally FREAKED out on me told me i should get out of his life and some harsh words. I did tell him im sorry i was worried because i havent heard from him for at least 6 hours before and after landing and being like very late and tired when he came home he didnt even look like he missed me nor answered my calls. We are married and we have a lot off sex but we didnt see each other for 2days and he wasnt even happy to see me.Didnt even wanna have sex this morning i did however tried to show him how much i missed him and had some lovemaking. Oh yeah and how i know he lied to me i unpacked he suitcase and his ticked showed me the time he went on. i did send him a text message saying im sorry and i love him. But yet he were even more rude so i did not speak to him again. If i am doing something wrong please help me. And i cant just take or have a hobby he is very jealous person. He will talk to anyone how he wants to talk to. he doesnt ask me if its ok if we go there you know nothing. Just tells me or i find out when someone calls. Like his friends 40th Birthday Party which is gonna be a expensive weekend. I told him could we perhaps not go please. its gonna be to much He said i (He) will go alone if i dont wanna go. He said i work with the money so stop being a Bitch! A Couple of nights a go he went down my private part and gave me some oral. when i were asleep when i woke up he made as if he is asleep and did nothing. Then the 2nd time again thin he were to slow to go away he made some rough hard love to me its were painful i told him he said stop being a baby. Please tell me if im doing anything wrong please or some advise. Sometimes he could be the sweetest person but most of the times grumpy but not to other people or women he always helps them or talks in a way like a gentlemen. Not with me. He did tell me he doesnt care what i have to say or think. I should grow up! But im the one cleaning,cooking, being the one that cleans after him have to get drinks ir food if he is hungry and just stay out of his way. If he asks me for something to drink and i dont give it to him right there and then he is very nasty towards me like last week i were in the ladys room he asked me something to drink i told him sure in a sec im almost finished brushing my teeth. He were so furious why am i so slow if i want something i want it now not 10minutes later. We are married 10months he told me he made a mistake to marry me. He is 2years older than me.
View related questions:
I work with, jealous, money, moved in, my boss, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): get out now ive been there nothing good is ahead in this relationship im sorry to say this
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): Ahhh your husband sounds just like my ex :( You haven't done anything wrong - you just married a control freak who is an ass .. or an ass who also happens to be a control freak! If there are any niggling issues in the marriage he and you should talk about them. Sometimes unresolved problems can fester resulting in arguments over other trivial things. Either way, he should not be behaving like this. A real man gets some balls, gets his act together and discusses any problems with his wife so they can move forward and resolve them! I think any woman he is with would get this treatment, unless they have something he needs/some control over him .. then he might act reasonable. My ex was exactly the same. We were together for years and he was as nice as pie to other people, especially women, in fact it was almost pathetic cos it was as if he was subservient to them. At home, as his ex wife and son and myself and my daughters can confirm, he was a monster! He never hit us .. just chipped away, lost his temper shouting over stupid things and it was always always someone else's fault! I think you should take a step back and think about what you are worth, what you want and what, for you, a good marriage should be. The general rule seems to be that a partner should be 85% ok with only 15% shortfall as nobody is perfect, which would make a marriage roughly 8 out of 10 or above and as the other poster said, yours rates lower because of his behaviour. If you believe he is the one for you and you want it to work then you need to talk to him, get counselling together but the main thing is he has to want to change and has to know he has been wrong and be sorry. One word of caution though .. my ex never changed he just got worse and I feel very sorry for his current GF even though she was not very nice about me at first! Now she sees him for what and who he really is. He married you because he wanted to and now he is saying it was a mistake .. my ex used to do the same because he wanted me to say sorry sorry sorry all the time please don't leave etc etc .. Maybe you should suggest that he moves out for a while so you can have some space and leave it at least 5 days before contacting him, or you could go away with a friend for a holiday and limit contact. Get some legal advice before you do anything because you don't want him playing any tricks to try and get you out of your own house (my ex did this to his ex wife, or tried to but failed!). Tell him that you cannot accept his behaviour. ALso don't close your mind off to other possibilities. I know it is hard but there are other men you could like and fancy and love who would treat you well. Don't have an affair because that can make things worse but just think properly and open up your mind to all the possibilities life holds for you. You deserve to be happy. Concentrate on your health and don't put your mental and physical health last or let him damage you. I let my situation go too far and it damaged by health and it took a long time for me to heal up physically and emotionally. Good luck to you xx
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 February 2010):
 What is your idea of a good marriage? If you were to close your eyes and imagine how you'd like your marriage to be, does it look like the reality of yours? He's a very controlling person. It's as if he can do what he wants, and you just wait home for when he can fit you in his schedule. Don't question if you're doing something wrong. With him, doing something different will only end up the same way.
He says you should leave and he shouldn't have married you. I say he's right in a way that, you don't deserve to be treated this way, and he doesn't deserve to call you his wife. This is not a marriage. If you're being lied to, yelled at, told you shouldn't be there, I wouldn't give your marriage a 2 on a 1-10 scale. What do you think you deserve? If this is not it, do not accept this treatment. Remember that, you DO NOT deserve to be treated this way. If he keeps treating you like property, it's time to pack up and take his invitation to leave. Find someone who is honest and who will love you right back as you do them.
Take Care.
...............................
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (26 February 2010):
 Sorry, but he sounds like a selfish, controlling, disrepectful, nasty jerk. I would bail out if I were you before he crushes your spirit any further and you don't have the emotional strength to leave.
I would not waste a second longer on someone who treated me like that or told me that marrying me was a mistake.
...............................
|
