A
female
age
41-50,
*istiza
writes:My husband is unsure that he is in love with me we have been married for 6 years and we are in the military so he is gone a lot. he went away for school for a few weeks and came back saying he does not know if he loves me anymore. just before he left he was talking about wanting to have another child. i asked if there was another woman he said no. he made a friend while he was there but it was just a friend she was in her late 50's and just stared talking to him ( he's 25). my husband does not drink or smoke he hates it!! does not like to go to clubs or bars but he was going all the time like 4 to 5 time a week while he was gone he says he was the DD and just trying to get out with his buddys. i dont care if he goes out and has fun. but when he came home and said he does not know if he loved me anymore it really caught me of guard. we have a child and i told him if he did not love me then he should leave i desevred someone who love's me, and that i would never keep our son from him. he said he does not want to leave me our sex life is awsome even better than before he left whenever he kisses me he get a hard on,we dont fight nearly as much as we used to when he was in love with me, he play less vidoe games and is around me more now than ever but he he says he does not like to be around me ( i dont know what he hell is going on) he said he is un happy with me his job he is unhappy were we live omg one thing after another he says i bring him down but he is more into me than he has been in years he just does not say i love you back but he does not want me to stop saying it!!! i dont know what to do anymore
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female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff  +, writes (10 June 2007):
 it sounds like he himself is very confused, it'snot fair on you that you have to hear this, but it seems that the reason he is saying it is not because he doens't love you, but because of another reason. people who experience from depression can often feel numb, even towards the peopel they love the most, because they are so confused, so extreme activites, such as sex give them a rush. now i;m not saying he has depression, but just that there maybe other reasons.
a reason why he doesn't want you to stop saying that you love him because it makes him feel wanted in a time where he has no idea what he wants.
maybe if you speak directly to him, in a non-confontational way and let him know that you are there for him.. then he might feel comfortable to be detailed on why he suddenly 'doesn't love you'.
but it's important to not be blackmailed, be there for your husband, that is what marriage means, but if he is not willing to try at all then you need to decide what is best for you.
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