A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband of a year and 9 months decided to go on hols to Australia for 6 weeks (he only works at peak seasonal times) - i couldn't get off work. He rang at weekend saying he was gonna stay with his mates over christmas and new year. I am totally devastated - i asked him not to but he said he wouldnt change his mind. His attitude is 'she'll get over it sometime'.What does any other people think of a newly married couple and my husband would prefer to spend christmas apart? I'm so upset i am breaking my heart crying but feel like this is the last straw in my marriage - im sat at home so alone. Ps he does tend to have a selfish nature and likes to get his own way.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012): Hi I thought i'd update you guys on what happened. So he thought everything would be ok despite me telling him it was an awful thing to do. So i took action and packed his bags and returned them to his folks. He pleaded by text message for a while to return home asap but there is no sign of him. I decided not to answer my phone to him, if he wants to talk its face to face. So I guess its maybe time to move on. Thanks to all who replied, you guys do a great job.
A
female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (3 December 2012):
 He is selfish indeed and will walk all over you your entire marriage... Anytime you 'give in' will prove to him all will be well in time so he can do as he pleases. Don't let him get away with it. If my husband did this I would explain how it made me feel, although if he were selfish enough to do it anyway be clearly wouldn't care. Then I'd inform him I won't be here when he gets back. If he chose Australia then he doesn't want me as a wife and I damned sure would be gone when he got back. So those are my thoughts on your husband's selfish plans. What you decide to do is on you, but know if you do forgive him and let him get away with it he will only ever do as he wants to do and you will spend many more nights crying at home while he couldnt care less and having a great time with friends.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 December 2012):
 It sounds pretty silly to me.... perhaps it's the "straw that will break the camel's back"..... and you can make it as painless as possible by asking him to just get a one-way ticket.... because YOU DON'T WANT HIM BACK!!!!!!
Good luck, mate!!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 December 2012):
 Don't you have any family or friends you can spend Christmas with?
I DO think that his choice to stay in Australia over Christmas seems really selfish. If his work there is done he should WANT to come home to you.
It seems to me that he has a single fella mentality.
Not only did he decide on taking 6 WEEKS vacation by himself, but he doesn't really seem to give much care about how you might feel about being alone for the holidays.
When my husband was deployed the first time to Afghanistan, he wanted to go with his buddies to Australia instead of coming home on R&R and I was pissed. I KNOW he deserved a break from Afghanistan, but to choose a vacation over seeing his family seems pretty unsympathetic for me. However, he did say that it would be harder for everyone to say good bye AGAIN and that he wouldn't want to go back if he came home.. Needless to say, he came home from R&R and had a great vacation with US, his family. I didn't tell him what to do, just how it made me feel.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (3 December 2012):
 Not acceptable, not by any standard. If he stays for christmas and new year, he may as well stay for good.
To say 'you will get over it'...Those are the words my ex husband said to me when I told him I wanted him to quit drinking and gambling...I didn't get over it, I divorced him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 December 2012):
 I think it sucks.
I think he's not into this marriage... did you get married because HE wanted it or because you wanted it and he went along for the ride?
I would tell him if he does not come home for Christmas and New years he can find a new home and I'd file for an annulment on the grounds of abandonment. Six weeks is enough time.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 December 2012):
 Hi
Wow that is so wrong on his part, your his wife not some casual girlfriend. Doesn't matter if he only works seasonally, he either wants to be married and be with you,or he wants to be single and holiday with his friends.He's already had 6 weeks.
He seems to assume you will get over this snub, I hope you take a very tough line and give him an ultimatum.Australia or you.
Christmas should be spent with your partner and family,its not like he CAN'T get home,he chooses not to.
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