A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my husband for eight years, we have been married 1 1/2 years I have two children from a previous marriage and we have a son together. He is 14 years older than I am. I am 31My husband gets off work, gets a glass of tea and sits down at the computer. He eats supper at the computer, generally ignoring me and the children. He gets off when he is ready to go to bed. On the weekends he gets on the PC about 7 am and gets off usually about 12 am -1 am somwhere around there.His big thing is myspace he has a group on there and is constantly messing with articles and things to do with that.I have tried to talk to him about being on the PC so long, I feel he is ignoring me and the children, he feels I am just griping at him. He gets angry if I try to talk to him but when he wants to tell me about his "group" I am expected to sit and listen to him. I am a stay at home mom so I would like some adult conversation when he is home but he isn't interested.What can I do to get him interested in me and the children again?
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Not sure if this will help (I don't want to go acusing anyone of anything)but you might want to check it out. http://netaddiction.com/cyberwidows/cyberwidows/partners_test.htm
"Internet Addicts become angry and resentful at others who question or try to take away their time from using the Internet. For example, "I don't have a problem," or "I am having fun, leave me alone," might be an addict's response. These behaviors create distrust that over time hurt the quality of once stable relationships."
Not sure if that applies to you but just incase...How about having a serious talk with him when you're calm, not angry and let him know how you feel. If you talk to him while you're angry then he will think you're nagging snd he'll react negatively to you. Once you approach him calmly and get your point across to him that you think he is spending too much time on the computer and not enough time with you and your children maybe he will see sense, and think 'You're right you know.' If you talk to him and reason with him maybe he will see the error of his ways and make some positive changes, and also you can come up with solutions together. Different ways to spend time together as a family that you'll all enjoy. Best of luck. xx
A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (22 February 2007):
 When you talk to him about spending more time with you and the children, do you do so in a calm and un-accusing voice?
What brought about this change? Surely he didn't all at once start spending every free second of his time at the computer? If you can pinpoint it, maybe you can find out why he's not interested in you or his family any more.
Maybe you can try suggesting to him that the two of you go somewhere alone? Tell him you're booking a table for two at some restaurant that the two of you used to go to "back in the good old days" (before the computer took over). Without the computer to entertain him, it will be easier for you to have a normal conversation and maybe start getting back together.
Third option, and I don't recommend this other than if every other piece of advice you get on this site fails, is deleting a select few of the files in the system folder, screwing up the windows registry , and running a good strong magnet along the harddrive.
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