A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my partner lost his job about 5 months ago but he still isnt applying for enough jobs. he seems to think that 1-2 applications a week (if that) is enough and hes being so fussy with what jobs he applies for. How can i get it through to him that what with todays climate and job market, he doesnt have the choice to be fussy over what hes applying for and he needs to be constantly applying if he is to have any chance of getting an interview let alone a job itself. we're struggling with money and i cant afford to support him yet everytime i asked if hes applied for a job today he gets annoyed as im nagging him. am i being unreasonable?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): you have to leave him... If he isnt putting effort in find a job to feed his family he isnt a man... You have to think about you and yourself only... He apparently isnt thinking about you so why should you think about him.. Think to yourself what if i had kids?? Any man that will provide for his wife and family is a good man... A man that will scrub toliets for 7 dollars an hour to get by for now is a man. You can always look for a job in the morning and deliver food at night and just because 3 places for delivering arent hirinig that dont mean the other 5983598409830760349 places where you live arent hiring.. If you knew that he was truly trying to get a job and what do whatever it takes you wouldnt be asking for peoples advice.. It sounds to me that he lazy and you need to wake up and realize what you are putting urself into.. You either got to deal with it and not complain or you have to put your foot down and possibly leave this man.. im not saying this to be mean im saying it because its something called tough love!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): hi i asked the question, just wanted to say hes not my husband, we're not married so i dont think it gives me the right to nag him. i find jobs for him but when i offer to sit with him whilst he does them he says he prefers to do it on his own
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A
female
reader, sally boo  +, writes (27 April 2009):
you are in no way beng unreasonable.however you might want to try a different method to try and get your husband to make more of an effort. my partner is going through exactly the same thing. i feel as though he isnt trying hard enough to get a job too but i am doing everything i can to help.my advice to you is to look for jobs for him, tell him about them and sit with him whilst he applies for them.i think that he is just feeling really down at the moment about not having a job and has maybe got to the point where he wants to give up because he feels as though he is getting nowhere.as i said...have a look for some jobs that you think would be suitable for him and sit down and encourage him to apply.he needs your support at the moment and i think that nagging him may be just putting him down even more...give him some reassurance. tell him he will get a job...but he needs to apply for as many as possible. show support and encouragement along with helping him find jobs and he should start to realise that it will get better...even if it does take a while.good luckx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 April 2009):
You just have to draw a line. Tell him that you want to talk and get this sorted once and for all and then you will stop nagging him.When he agrees to talk about it then just tell him. You can only afford for him to be your house-husband until the end of June (or whenever). Then he has to move out and you have to move into a smaller place. I bet he could get a driving job or something in Tescos that would pay the rent. Point this out and tell him that he can continue to faff about being picky just as SOON as he starts paying his half of the rent.Start looking for places, start selling stuff at car boot sales, show him you are serious.He'll have to get something or move back to his mum's.Good Luck!! xx
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