A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I are going through a rough patch in our marriage- he's infatuated with another woman, who also happens to be my coworker and is dating his best friend. (Yes, some of you may recognize this situation from his Dear Cupid post.) In a nut shell, he began talking to her and hid it from me, which made me suspicious and I accused him of cheating- he denied it. I discovered his Dear Cupid post detailing his infatuation for her and his falling out of love for me. He says his post was his way of verbally processing and trying to figure out what he was feeling and what to do.We've gotten past the initial fighting, anger and secrecy between us. At this point, we want to work past it and stay together (I think), but it's incredibly hard. He cut my coworker out of his life (his own choice), but it's made him sad and depressed. It's made him question why we are together. Is this just a fleeting infatuation or is this his gut telling him something bigger? How to we move past this? I want to trust him, but I am afraid that we are staying together for the wrong reasons and that this could all happen again in the near future. How does he deal with this infatuation? Do I give him space or stick it out with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis best friend knows we're going through something and that it involves my coworker some how, but I don't think he knows to what extent. He was actually hesitant to see my coworker again because of what's going on.
As for my husband and I, I keep going back and forth on whether we should have some time apart. I feel like he needs time to himself to figure out what he feels/wants/needs, but he says he doesn't. Seeing him upset over another woman makes me want to punch and hug him and the same time. I feel bad that he's sad, but at what cost to me?
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 I'm wondering,does his best friend know of the feelings your husband has for this woman. I'ts a normal thing for people to be infactuated with someone. I'ts what they do about it that it important. The grass may not be greener on the other side. If he did have the chance to get this other woman he may find out that he's made the biggest mistake in his life, but we don't know these things until they happen. At least you are both aware of the situation and maybe that will be enough to work it through. I wonder if his best friend is aware of any of this and how the friendship would pan out if he found out. Your husband could have a lot to lose if he can't get these feelings out of his system. After all, he married you didnt he?
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