A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi cupids,I dont know if i'm just being silly here but....Here's the deal i have been married for 4 years, my hubby is in the army and we have 2 kids (4 and 2). Thing is he is due to deploy to Afghan at the end of the year and i am so worried about how this is going to impact on my kids, they are both daddies girls and are very well behaved but i dont know if i am going to be able to hold it together.He is going to a camp that gets attacked daily and i am affraid that he wont come home. I thought about making friends with other army wives but i find them very gossipy and clicky which i absolutely hate more than anything.Am i just thinking the worst and over reacting? I am so proud of my hubby and am just so affraid i'm going to loose himThanks Cupidsxxxx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 You're worried, which is natural. The best advise I can give on behalf of your kids is how you react while he's away. It'll be difficult, but remember kids sense emotions in their parents.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Military wives' clubs do tend to appear a little cliquey like you say, but there's an awful lot of support for you at these gatherings too, so I'd advise you to give it a go without any preconcieved ideas about whether you'd fit in or not. You're all part of one huge 'family' and there will be others in exactly the same position as you are.
Of course you're worried whether you'll ever see him again - as will every other army wife whose husband has been deployed to a war zone. Whether he gets injured or not is in the lap of the Gods unfortunately, but that's the nature of the job I'm afraid.
When I came home from a lengthy trip abroad my daughter, then aged 18 months, was terrified of me because I wasn't really her daddy in her eyes - because 'Daddy' was in a photo frame on top of the telly! Fortunately these days communication is vastly improved and as I understand it you can email and talk to each other for limited periods of time via satellite phones and the like. Just give him all the support you can and get the kids to write to him every so often.
The last thing you need is to stay at home wondering and worrying and bottling up all your anxiety. With support from others, you'll get through this difficult time, and I can't think of a better reason to get involved with all the other wives. You're bound to make new friends - as will your kids who will be able to mix with others in the same situation as them.
The Royal British Legion is a source of assistance, as is SSAFA, if you find yourself in any financial or other difficulty, and you'd be surprised at the degree of help available. PM me if you need further details of these two organisations.
I wish you all the best and hope he gets back safe and sound in due course.
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