A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A friend of the family told me yesterday that my husband is having an affair with his boss. I felt sick when she told me that. I thought my husband loved me and wouldn't want to go off with other women. But it got a lot worse when I found out that it wasn't another woman my husband was having an affair with, but the fact his boss was a guy.Apparently a colleague of his in work who mans the CCTV cameras at their workplace said he'd seen my husband and his boss holding hands and kissing - not far from the shop floor (it's not a shop my husband works in, but a vehicle parts and salvage warehouse). He said he'd seen it a few times, but was too scared to tell anyone in case he got the sack. I saw the footage and felt sick. His colleague says apparently a very small number of employees know about the relationship.Even worse, the boss is married with kids. I feel sick at the thought of all those times my husband said he "is in a meeting with the boss" that it could have been a lot worse.I confronted my husband when he came in from work about it, telling him I knew, and he refused to talk about it saying "It's none of your business! You can't tell me what to do!" He also said "We just fell in love, leave us alone! You can't stop love..."I have a son, he's 4 years old. He's so adorable and fun to be with.Sadly my husband shows no interest in him - yet only a year ago he loved being with him.Now my husband refuses to speak to me, and only shows an interest in work.What should I do next?I feel sick, disgusted, jaded, unhappy and introspective now just thinking about the whole situation but at the same time I feel pleased that my friends and my husband's colleagues let me know about this.where do I go from here?luv,Joanne
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affair, fell in love, kissing, workplace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): Ah, hon. This is a totally sucky situtian that I'm sorry you were put in. But please dump him! And take your son with you. He doesn't need to be ignored and you desreve better than a man who will cheat on you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): LEAVE him. He will regret all of this! but this is just wrong to see what he has done to you. he doesn't even care about you or the child's feelings and apparently his boss doesn't care about his family either. you need to take yourself away from this pain and your child away from this careless father. it is better off if you are without him and find yourself a better man to be with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): I am sorry for situation. This is tough to say but plain and simple file for divorce. If you are a stay at home mom and do not have finacial stability try to find a job to back yourself up. Maybe you could get emotional help and possibly finacial help from family. Please this may be embarrassing for you ,but don't bottle things up from people who care for you. This is not your fault. This is not your childs fault. Cheating is wrong with a man or a woman!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): Get down to the solicitors and get the divorce rolling now. He says it is none of your business then hit him where it will hurt, in the wallet!!! You are his wife and therefore entitled to know these things. Tell him that you are not putting up with this. Your child is only 4. He doesnt need to grow up with all this crap going on around him. Get him out now, you stay put in the house with your child. Throw his clothes out and make a new start. How dare he even try to turn things around. Kick him to the kerb.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 Dear Joanne
It is a terrible thing that's happened to you. I cannot imagine how you must feel.
The answer is very clear. You cannot be with somebody, who loves somebody else (be it a man or a woman). The fact that your husband was rude and dishonest also doesn't help. You need to move on, get out or ask him to move out - whatever it takes. (get a lawyer to see what you are entitled to)
Your son needs a better role model, and he also needs to feel loved - not rejected.
You are indeed lucky that you were notified of this. That means that people love and support you. Good grounds for a NEW future.
Good luck.
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