A
female
age
41-50,
*emy
writes:My husband is at it again, I had gotten our grandkids for the weekend, he stays out all night Friday drinking, then blames it on me, just cause it is his family he feels he can do that, if Idid half the things he do to me he would be upset, iI'm thinking about leaving for good, he does good for a while then all of a sudden things like this happen! What do I do? We have been married 6 yrs, he drinks at home but he never gets drunk, and every so often he does not come home, answer my phone calls, he has gotten physical in the past.And when I try to address him in a calm manner he gets even more mad and turn things around on me and threaten to leave, my thing is if he wants to be single then leave, I'm just at a loss for words, I can't eat I can't sleep, just need some good advice.
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 June 2015):
 Hi Remy
I am so sorry to hear that you suffer all this heartache.
You really do not deserve this.
Just be cautious about announcing you are leaving. Because that can be a bad time to discuss anything with him.
Here is why:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-honeymoon-stage-in-an-abusive-relationship-and.html
A
female
reader, remy +, writes (20 June 2015):
remy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the replies I have gotten so far, it I appreciate it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (15 June 2015):
 Some men will react to threats of being left by those whom they love and as a result they may change their ways and stop drinking. The fact that he does not wake up and desire alcohol does not mean he is not an alcoholic because abusers behave the same way: they have their rituals which look benign to absolve them of what they want which is alcohol. Their behavior patterns are the same and they would use any emotional manipulative in order to absolve themselves of guilt for wrecking a relationship. Eventually they run out repertoire to lie with: so call him on it. But before you pack your stuff and leave, be sure you have the financial means to sustain yourself for several months: job, money, rent, food etc. then just leave him one day and let him enjoy his drinks because there is nothing that you can do further for him. After that he may change for good, seek AA help etc or may not but either way you will be at peace.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 June 2015):
 The best advice I can give you as the woman of a husband who is 6 months into his sobriety... find an Alanon meeting or two or three and start going.
YOU can't fix HIM. all you can do is fix yourself and set your boundaries.
threats will not work. He may never stop drinking and you can't control that...what you can control is how you react/act with him.
al-anon can give you those tools.
...............................
|
