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age
51-59,
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writes: help me my husband has done a 360 with our separation..he is taunting a man who is emailing me...when I ask him if he loves this woman hes with he ignores me and asks about the man whos chasing me.....what does he want...I keep asking him do you love her..???? and he ignores me...he is pissed at this man calling him names...when I defended him ..my ex got irate calling me skank and saying he was going to block me and change his number...but yet he doesnt deny the woman....omg...i was with him 24 yrs this is truly killing meI still love him and dont want anyone else...I know I sound pathetic.... =( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, B123  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 You don't sound pathetic at all. Your ex-husband-to-be if you don't mind me saying is jealous of other men who want to be in your life yet he is with someone else now. He cheated on you and now he must live by those consequences. He can't have both you and his new gf. He lost you by his actions and you are flattered cos at least you know that he cared more about you than his current gf who is clearly a rebound. You have been together a long time and I am sure he is hurting just as much as you are. He doesn't want to separate and is being difficult cos he is only realising your true worth now that you are not together. But he is suiting himself here. You are suddenly a challenge to him again. I bet he got you that big tv in case he loses you to that other guy. I doubt he would have done anything if he thought there was no other love interest in your life. I hope you don't find me harsh here but I agree with TEM here: It appears he doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. Why put up with that?
So while he goes off swanning around with his new gf having intimate moments with her and spoiling her - your life should be put on hold?? I think not. My intention is not to hurt you...but take a look outside the box for just a min...he is not being fair to you at all...if he wants you back, he needs to do a lot more than just give you material items - the trust has been broken. He also name-called you skank in anger. You don't deserve that. Let him change his number if he wants. You need time for yourself...time alone. If you want to do counselling with him..go for it..if you feel it will be of some benefit but to be honest your best option here would be to let it go and divorce. What you do is upto you of course. But take your time, and ignore him as much as you can..until you feel semi-okay again. The less you think about him - the more you will feel empowered.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe doesnt want me thats a little harsh wouldnt you say....he hasnt stopped texting me.and he has totally overstepped his bounderies...I am actually flattered that he is doing this, to me it shows he does want me ..but is showing that his life right now he wants this break..I have asked for separation papers and he doesnt want that...
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female
reader, TEM  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 I have heard of this before. After 24 years he has come to think of you as "his." It appears he doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. He's still jealous and possessive, when he has no right.
The fact that he won't tell you what is up with the other woman is suspicious though. There's not much detail here, so I'll have to take a guess. When married to you, he thought the other grass was greener, so he left. It turns out that it is not, but now it he thinks it is too late for him because another man is showing you interest.
You still love him. You are only separated. Have you tried asking him if he wants to reconcile? Is it possible that his pride is prohibiting him from asking you? Do you think there's still a chance for the marriage? Rather than asking him how he feels about this other woman, try asking him if he will go to marriage counseling with you, and see what he says.
Best of luck,
TEM
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