| A
female
,
*isgruntled
writes: Until my father died in June, things were fab between I and my husband, affectionate,loving, but a mr angry at himself, before father died, found out o load of truths, and heartbreaking one. Various other things that I found out,that was hidden for years. It all got to much for me, I lost it. As in filled with total fear and on top of that, found out from dad that my husband slept with my daughter before we got together. I knew it was daughter lying, but then upon hubby telling me she propositioned him twice. But she say's nothing happened at all. She is a compulsive liar. Because all this news made me ill, hubby has ended the marriage, he lost his temper, demanded me to get out. But then he told me he hasn't loved me for 2 years, but i know he was lying. But still broke my heart in 2, he demanded divorce, but he has not done anything about it. I'm living in one room with all my possessions, money wise he's cut me off. but every so often there's been fleeting moments where he's touched me, only quickly, but deliberate. What is he up to?
View related questions:
divorce, liar, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005): Sometimes a person's marriage 'seems' broken on the surface. You and your husband are stuck in limbo, waiting for the other one to make the next move. And it's not getting you both anywhere. Aside from all the lies, truths, gossip and assumptions that have occurred, I think you are still very committed to making this marriage, work with him. So when you described your husband as you have, I think there should one good final effort to make this work. Even though there is much conflict and anger, it's apparent you are viewing him with eyes of compassion and it's apparent that he has deep feeling for you as well. It's just that 'anger' and toxic emotions are over ruling common sense here. Before one of you does anything drastic that will destroy this marriage for good, spend a few months, treating your husband with the compassion, you have developed. This is now the time to be strong,to do some deep soul-searching, and utilize total honesty. It is a time to bite the tongue until it bleeds, and listening to each other through tears. Attitudes will and can rub off on others. Both of you need to stop faltering and take the serious steps toward rebuilding. This is not a guaranteed method, but it is a possibility that you both can communicate in a patient, loving manner once again. The trick is to begin treating each other with respect and putting all that past toxic stuff, in the past..let it all go. Start anew.
Your marriage is retrievable but it will be a long, slow process. It will take incredible courage, perseverence and committment. I think it's there in both of you...but remember, you 'both' have to work at it as a team. I recommend that both of you get into marriage counselling or think about getting involved with marriage saving workshops available for couples at the end of their tether. Good luck.
|
