A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI have a problem. My marriage is on the rocks it first started a couple of years ago when out teenage daughter was off the rails which resulted in her drinking getting in trouble with the police everyday she has calmed down now and moved in with my mum and we all get on a lot better the trouble is since that happened my husband is on the x box at least 5 times a week which is doing my head when i try and talk to him he just screams and shouts and stomps off on his xbox anyway. i wouldn't mind if it was a couple of nights but he is on it every bit of free time he gets i am getting bored we never go out anymore and i feel like i live as a single person please help otherwise it is make or break time the trouble is i am worried how it will affect the children
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2011): Hi i know how difficult it is to get through to someone who is shutting you out and doesnt want to listen to anything you say. My ex was like that but with him it was the computer. You could try writing him a letter if he is refusing to talk to you. When you talk he just drowns out your words with his anger but if he reads what you are saying, he will listen because as he reads your words, he is talking to himself...if you see what i mean!Keep the letter short and to the point. Explain what you are not happy about and what needs to change and the consequences if he doesnt make any effort to bring about certain changes.If he still ignores you then you have tried your best! The next step is to go and have a free half hour with a divorce solicitor. Let your partner know you have sought advice and see if that wakes him up. If THAT doesnt work then file for divorce because he clearly cant care about you any more.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (26 November 2011):
 If the Xbox is seriously an obsession of where it's affecting time with his children and his marriage (I'm talking he's on it 24-7, every minute of free time he has), then it's time to set him down and tell him he needs to limit his play time. Either he limits it or you will hock the X-box at a pawnshop.
But 5 times out of the whole week doesn't sound like very much. It sounds as if this is his "me" time on his X-box. Which is perfectly acceptable. If you're bored, then find something to entertain yourself. Leave your children with your husband and go out for a ladies night, go shopping, knit, get a massage etc. Let your husband have his time and take this opportunity to have your own "me" time.
If your husband seriously neglects you and the rest of the children, then make the decision to divorce him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2011): You have to be ready to leave him if he doesn't change, because you can't make someone change against their will. All you can do is give him information on where you stand, and then the choice is up to him if he values your relationship over his xbox (most likely it's not the xbox per se it's an escape from what he doesn't want to deal with.)So tell him that if he doesn't change this behavior you're going to leave him, and then be ready to do exactly that. You're presenting him with a choice, it's up to him if this relationship continues or not.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 November 2011):
 Talk to him and tell him it is either make or break. Compromise with him. Tell him the relationship has gone stale and you both need to make an effort to go out even one night a week and be a couple again. Be straight with him and tell him you cannot go on like this any more and you would be just as well living as a single person. He needs to start making more of an effort to show you he still loves you, you need to tell him that. Tell him he has a month to show you he still cares about keeping his family together or else you are going to leave him.
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