A
female
age
41-50,
*_wana_no
writes:i am new to this site, i ran into it on accident but i'm glad i did. the first question i ran into sounded just like mine. my husband has been going into websites without me knowing and there date, or meet someone websites. i found out by accident so i changed his password on his email. but i've been having to go to website one by one is there another way to do this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, v_wana_no +, writes (28 June 2008):
v_wana_no is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni did talk to my husband and of course he blamed me. i did come across some websites where he did admit he was married but bored and wanted attention on the profile. he said he was curious,and i'm glad i found it out before something else happened because he already had emails fron women. but doesn't have a problem with me checking in on him when he's on the computer. we are working things out and communicating more. thanks for all your advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): I suggest you try and be calm; sometimes we get upset and over react; Yes, I know it is difficult, but there might be a very logic explanation; instead of your mind running away and you are doing all sorts of things; No, try to relax; you do trust him don't you?
Wait for an appropriate time and then metnion to him that you stumble across this; read his body language and listen to his explanation; then decide if you have reason to be concerned or not!
Be calm; hope all goes well!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): This needs challenging. I have been in your postion,constantly coming across profiles,when i told her she simply changed her profiles,whilst still denying it,knowing i knew.. If you are met by an angry reaction and accused of snooping,its likely to be guilt. Dont let him make you feel like you are in the wrong,because like my ex fiancee,lies can be told very easily.Its all so easy to question what is wrong in your relationship,to be doing it. Truth is,some people will cheat because of opportunity,no matter how good or bad their current relationship is.
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A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Oh Hunny
I would def talk with him, Changing his password will really not do any good at all apart from maybe put him on the defensive..Yes he has done wrong to you, Its not nice to find something like this out, But If you want your marriage to work with trust then even if he is not showing much trust at the moment..You can If you can change those passwords back quickly then do it..Then sit down and ask him whats going on and what you stumbled on try and to talk in a quiet way love HARD I NO!!!And like someone else suggested maybe book to see a counsellor, Something may be wrong then again he may just be curious or want his cake and eat it which ever of those it is you need to get to the bottom of the it to sort the problem love..I hope it works out for you if you need a chat to let of steam mess me ok hun YOU TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (26 June 2008):
 asides from the fact he's looking for.. excitement.dating websites?.. you don't have to worry about him finding someone as they're mostly full of guys anyway
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): Ask him flat out why he is looking around? There is most likely some issue in the marriage, you may well know there is a problem between you two, immediately get an appointment with a marriage couselor, do not put it off, I did and was sorry. ithink some men just want to have cake and eat it too and some men look for others to get self esteem or run away from their marriage?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): Hi,
Firstly if he is accessing websites looking to either just LOOK or actually wanting to take it further!
I feel if it was me i would just come right out and ask him what is he doing looking at sites where you and he know can lead to other things very easily!
Trust me if he is looking then he may already be thinking of doing something to give him the benefit of the doubt maybe he was just curious?
Usually when men do this it has been going on for a while and it usually ends up with them trying their luck just to see!!!
This is the danger because once they know how easy it is to get some women then they get addicted to these sites.
Not all men will be the same but you have to ask one big question here
WHY IS HE ON THEIR LOOKING IN THE FIRST PLACE IF HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU?????
I would come right out and ask him so what if he accuses you of snooping tell him he was doing far worse than you!!!!
Do it today don't wait cause then it might be too late!!!
Tara
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Hi,
this is no way to confront the problem. If he is actively seeking partners then shouldnt you ask him why he is doing it?
If you can't do this then your relationship is missing trust which is not a good sign.
good luck anyway mate.
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (26 June 2008):
 You could always try talking to your husband about it, as opposed to sneaking about changing all his passwords.
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