A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 27 yrs and have been married for 4yrs and we have a daugher 3yrs. My husband started having affairs out of marriage on and of 3months after i gave birth. I have tried talking to him, my mum and his mum but he stays calm just for short will then he goes back to his old ways now my mum has said only the 2 of us can solve this problem we have even gone to a proffessional counsellor but it doesnt help i havent been happy for alongtime lately he told me he is giving me 1yr to get out of his house that was after impregnating his former girlfriend then he gave her money 2 do an abortion. Have tolerated all this without have any affair out there i feel he is taking my love 4 granted and he never apologise saying he did that when he had afight so he can apologise. Recently i met an old friend he knows am married and he respects that he doesnt know what is going on in my marriage we just go 4 lunch we talk generaly about life i feel happy whenever am with him he doesnt call my phone frequent just once in a while he stay in a different town we met like once in a month we have never talked about any relationship he understands me things that i tell my hubby to do 4 me and he never even try, he does then 4me without even asking him, i always feel secure when am with him he gives me smile whenever am sad i dont know if am falling in love with him. He is single, i often feel his love even if he has never said it what should i do i would really like to be happy pliz help. Stressed lady
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2011): you should leave your no-good husband already. but don't jump into a serious relationship with your guy friend either, when people hop from one relationship into another it's starting the new relationship off on a bad footing. You need to leave your husband first, spend some time on your own, then when you feel OK on your own and not desperate to have a partner around then you can start to explore a new relationship. Your guy friend sounds like a very nice guy, but this "rule" still applies. If he's a good friend, and if he's interested in you, he'll still be there even if you wait for awhile.
A
female
reader, blondie49  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 ok let me say something to you baby girl im a lady my husband well thats all he dose is cheat on me but gess what i love him so mush i stayed but he is haveing his cake and eating it but i was so unhappy i cryed eveyday then i net a man iv known for along time the only time i was happy was when i was with him baby girl you no what i droped the 0 for my hero im now so happy i never ever thought i whoud be happy baby girl if this man make you happy you no what to do drop the 0 and get your self a hero good luck
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Hi,You've been having problems with your husband for the last 2-3 years? He hasn't change, and I don't think he will. You even try professional help, didn't work. I know you've been with your husband a long time, have a new baby, but sometimes that's not enough to keep a marriage. The whole point of being married, is to build a life together, trust, love, respect each other, make each other happy. Clearly he's lacking in all. I guess this is the man he's. He cannot be loyal to you, cannot resist temptation, lies, doesn't have regret, guilt, and to him his behavior is normal. It's your life, and I know this is a difficult decision, but you know what kind of man he's. I believe in mistake, forginess, second chances, buy in this case, I think you have given him to many chances. You have a choice here. Continue being with your husband, knowing that he will never change. Accept him as he's. Don't complain, and be this way. Or walk away from him, find someone that you can make a great future together. You deserve better, and your new baby deserve too. You have this friend, see what I difference is from him, and your husband. Imagine, you can have a good man, happy life, someone that will love you and respect you. So, it's up to you. Only you control your life. Hope you make the right decision Good luck
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 He isn't going to change. The good news is that YOU can change. You said your husband gave you one year to move out, but didn't say if he changed his mind about it. Whether he did take it back or not (it doesn’t matter what he says now), I would try to move out sooner... maybe live with your mum for a while?
You have to leave him and avoid jumping into another serious relationship right away. Continue your friendship and if something develops - slowly - then enjoy...
Remember that your child can't control what happens in her life - so not only do you have to be a good example to her – show her that women can be strong and do not have to be taken for granted by their husbands, but you have to take things slow in new relationships for both yourself (to make sure its right and doesn't just SEEM right compared to the unhappiness you are currently feeling) and for her…
The importance of being a good role model, as a mother, is extremely important. If you choose happiness and demand respect, you will show her that she can also expect good things from life and love.
Be good to yourself and your child.
Good luck!
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