A
female
age
,
*ptomistic
writes:I have been married for a little over a year and found out my husband had made this list of "booty" websites he says some guys at work had shown him. I asked why he wrote this stuff down and he says he was just being stupid, being one of the guys and gave me a sincere apology,pleaded with me not to end our marriage. I was shocked and hurt by this because we have,I thought,a pretty solid relationship. I don't know what to do because I love him very much but now i don't feel like I can trust him. I am looking for some honest info, hopefully including from men to make me understand what Im dealing with here
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): I can understand how disappointed you must be feeling, any partner with a solid relationship would be feeling the same way. But he's given you a sincere apology, as you say, and you've got to try and forgive him. Not forget, but forgive. Talk about it with him, and let him know you're quite upset about it. Hopefully, if he really loves you, he'll make sure it doesnt happen again because he saw how upset you got this time.
In relationships, there are constant ups and downs of trust, and this is just one of your downs. You say "now i don't feel like I can trust him". Well I can empathize, because quite recently my long term boyfriend was out at a party with some other girls around, and he ended up being hit on by one of them all night. Later on, he was lying down on a chair and he let her lie next to him and cuddle up with him. As you can imagine, I felt like all trust had gone from our relationship. It might seem like a small thing to anyone else, but to me, it was huge. I cried and cried when he told me, because before, he would have moved away like he always used to do. So it left me wondering what had happened.
And it's in cases like that that you've just got to remember that he loves YOU and wants to be with YOU. Not some other slut or pornstar. Try and forgive him for it, because he doesn't have a tardis, and can't go back in time. Good luck.
A
female
reader, beutifullybrokenhearted  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Well, it's just porn. It's not like he would actually go out and cheat on you. Some people just can't control what they like and if he masterbates, it's not the end of the world is it?
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