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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I just had surgery today! It was tough on me! I am sensitive to anesthesia. And was puking and dizzy. I had a hard time.My husband dropped me off at the hospital because of Covid. He came to pick me up later after I recovered from anesthesia. When I called him from recovery to pick me up he seemed short. Found that odd. He picked me up and we went home. I slept and he fell asleep with me but his found was nearby face down. And I checked on my gut feeling. On his phone I found an app and discovered he was video chatting with another woman when I called him from the hospital after having surgery!!!!We're in isolation together. He has been such a sweetheart during this time. He got me a button up shirt to wear after my surgery. He had been staying up with me into the wee hours calming my anxiety about the surgery!!! Baking me cookies. Giving me massages. He has been a total sweetheart. Why??Why do all of that when he's playing around behind my back?What kind of a man even does that??? Fuck around when his wife is having surgery?I'm at my wits end!Having to go through a surgery, recovery and now find this out!!?? How on earth am I supposed to deal with this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 April 2020):
 I have to agree with Brown Wolf
This is not totally out of the blue (maybe for you, but he has HAD some prior contact with her, I would presume).
Do you know this woman? Could she be someone he has worked with, is related to or the wife of someone?
The thing is ALL we can do is speculate. If you truly WANT to know WHO she is and why he talked to her, you will have to TALK to him. It might be a pretty hard conversation, but I think the sooner you mention it the sooner you can HAVE that conversation and figure out what is going on.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (24 April 2020):
 Hi Op,
Hate to say it...This was happening before your surgery. Most people do not just out of the blue start a video chat with a complete stranger.
There should have been warning signs before this event. A lost of interest in sex. Both of you too occupied with your own lives to notice a distance slowly building between you.
This lockdown may have brought you both back together for quality time, but something before this started the process that lead to the video chat.
I am not saying he has a right to do what he did, but when men feel unloved, or that they are not your main focus of attention...They tend to go looking for it. He make not want this woman at all...but maybe she is giving him the attention he needs, or feel he needs.
So...Take a look at your relationship before all of this, and see if you were as close then as you are now. Has work and kids...if any...gotten in the way of your quality time.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2020): My sister in law was the same way with my brother all loving and helpful this was prior to leaving him for another man when my nephew ( their son) told his dad his mum was out of the house at night while he was on night shift. I think it's called guilt .. they feel guilty but the compulsion to keep doing what they are doing is there . Now im not saying your husband has met this women but certainly that will be the next step if it's not nipped in the bud .. Once you physically feel stronger .. don't wait to long . Tell him what you saw and let him answer you .. ask who the devil is she .. and if there nothing init he can facetime with you there in the back ground can't he .. if they are just friends I'm sorry but to me this seems off and I would be considering my options . Let him know you have options.. and his behaviour and actions may exclude him from them if he doesn't fix himself out ..
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (24 April 2020):
 From your post it is not clear that he was ever up to no good. You don't specify what sort of site he was on, or who he was talking to.
I think you need to look into this a bit further before you rush to any rash decisions and accuse him of chatting to cam girls.
You say he has been a sweetheart during isolation time and was very thoughtful with regards to your surgery displaying very kind acts of affection.
Be 100% certain before you broach a subject like that with him because it could all be innocent. Maybe just innocently ask him who he was chatting to while you were in surgery and see what sort of reaction you get.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2020): Why did he do all that for you? Guilt !
He’s a cheating scum bag . You need to get over your recovery the. Boot him out . Organise a good lawyer first so that you have all your ducks lined up . Don’t kid yourself that this is the first time or that he will change . To do that when your wife is in surgery takes a certain type of malice and lack of empathy
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