A
female
age
,
*ribrakee
writes:You know this is something for me because I've had a lot of bad relationships, but I was hoping that this one would work because he is older than I am in many ways. But he has done so much with his life. I want to know how do I get my husband to care about himself.The way he dress is unreal to me. The only thing that matters is having a lot of money. He sleeps in his clothes, he won't comb his hair when he leaves the house.He don't want to do anything but sit around and watch tv about food. Or something about fishing, I hate fishing, and camping.He tells me that he don't care any more. He has done everything, but I have not so what do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): Again, you're not trying to understand him. All you're doing is venting out what he has become and what you want. If you want this to work out, you have to try to understand him. Since it seems like you're swaying more in part of leaving him, then I suggest you leave him since it's more apparent that you don't have the patience to try to understand him and less tolerable for how he has supposedly become.
Otherwise, like I said previously, if you want to understand him, you have to persist and assertively get to the source.
A
female
reader, bribrakee +, writes (9 March 2009):
bribrakee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI remember before we got married he said to me, lets get married and not have sex.
Well it's been 2 and 1/2 yrs and no sex.
But looking at him and some of the things that he do, I don't want to have sex with him.
And him going places, this man go to work and home.
And on his days off he sleeps late in the day.
And when he get up he set in the chair and watch the crazy food station where the guy eats anything.
I can not watch that station, this man eat everything.
I love too sing, I love people, I can go in a store and come out with 2 new friends.
My husband hates everybody.
I use to hang out with my friends, no more.
I don't even like for people to come over, because he changes so much.
I don't want my friends to see him act up.
I can't stand it, I have so much goinging on for myself, and this man don't care about anything.
He gives up on everything, he's not a fighter.
I go after what I want, he just sets in his chair.
I feel like I'm 28 and he's 75....I have so much energy,
and I feel that he has none.
He's always tired..I've talked about him speaking with his Dr, he feels that he is ok.
The thing that gets me is that he is a good man, and I don't want to hurt him , but I'm hurting inside.
I just don't know?????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): If you don't understand, then you have to talk with him. Get to the source of those problems. He can very well be having some personal issues that you are unaware of. It could be something you did or did not do over time. It could be many things. Arguing is one thing, but if you don't know how to communicate with him, there is always counseling. If he feels nothing is wrong with him, then use an alternative in finding information. What does he do day in and day out? Where does he go? Who does he hang with? What type of things has he been reading lately? Have you caught him talk to himself? What has he been mumbling about? Have you noticed other little changes? Has he started eating differently? Drink stuff he normally doesn't? Why? Why do you think he's doing them? Maybe he's stressed that he's getting older and maybe he's taking it out on you because he feels you're 'better' than him. Maybe the fire has been put out and he doesn't know what to do about it. Have you tried to rekindle it or you're too caught up with why he has changed to even notice? Was he at all in the past affectionate towards you? If he was, then he changed, surely, you could have seen signs. If he was never like this, you have to question yourself why you even married him.You're thinking of leaving him. You're considering it. How long have you two been together? You said you don't understand what happened to him. That is the key problem right there. You're going to leave him without even trying to understand him. You stopped understanding somewhere along your relationship with him.
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A
female
reader, bribrakee +, writes (9 March 2009):
bribrakee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he was in the military for 20 years and he retired, went to Disney for 17 years retired, and now he is working on his third retirement with another company.
He was a leader in the military, and a manager at Disney.
I don't understant It, he has turned everything in out life over to me.
I work from home, I take care of all the crediters, I tak care of all the in coming phone call, good or bad.
He gets upset very easy, one minute he's in a good mood, the next he's pointing his finger at me about something that I did wrong.
I always tell him why don't you take over if I'm so wrong but he want.
It's like he wants me to fail so that he can get on me.
I'm a very positive person, and he is the most nagative man I've every seen.
I believe in what I don't see, he only believe in something if it's right in front of him.
I'm always motivating him for one reason or another.
I see good in everything, he always see bad.
My question is show I go, or should I stay.
He gives me everything, I take care of all the banking.
He feels that he is going through the change.
I just don't understant what happen to him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): I also have to ask...did you know this guy when you married him? If all these changes have just come about, then it could be depression...your description of his behavior sounds like depression to me. How is his physical health? Has he just recently been to see a doctor? Could there be something he is not telling you? I would convince him to seek counseling!
His behavior is very depressing for you too! You know the commercial for the antidepressant where they ask "who does depression hurt? EVERYONE!"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): How was he like before you two got married?
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