A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 34 year old and i have been Married to my husband for 7 years together for 8 years. Today my husband came to me and said that he does not know what he wants. If he wants to be with me. He thinks that he just wants to be on his own he is not sure. We have three beautiful children together and he is the love of my life. I do not know what to do. Do i just sit and wait to see what he wants or should i just go on with my life in hopes that one day he will make up his mind? I am so hurt and confussed right now. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): There are alot of things that could be going on but here are my top suggestions. 1) you were young when you got married and he is thinking about all the things he never got to do. 2) he is wondering if he is still attractive to other women. 3) your sex life has become routine and boring. The key is to sit him down and get him to communicate his concerns. Make him understand that your not a mind reader and that you are in this together. If he is unwilling to talk it over then give him a time table to make a decision so that you can move on with your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Maybe it has to do with your country, I've heard a lot of people get lost there. Kidding, sorry.
He needs to talk to a counselor. He could be having what is tagged for older people, 50's, as mid-life crisis. I think it can happen at any age.
Something recently may have invoked these thoughts in him. You, the children, work. He realizes something isn't right.
I can only speculate because I don't know either of you, and you didn't provide any information but the condition. This condition can be caused by many things.
I would guess that the two of you are drifting apart, he realizes it, may have tried to do something about it, but was met with resistance from you. Having kids makes us preoccupied, and not have time for the other. Not sure if this is it, but something for you to ask yourself.
Before you confront him, you have to recognize that the signs are in fact true. If you present stuff to him now after he has tried and been rejected, he will not be ready to be let down again and may deny it all, because it brings back pain.
You have a serious problem if I am correct. Trust is lost and will make the task harder to fix.
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A
male
reader, previasc96  +, writes (23 April 2008):
since there are kids involved, the two of you need to get together and figure out why he feels this way. He needs to be honest with you and with himself. Most importantly, you must both think of the children
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A
female
reader, AskZuri.com +, writes (23 April 2008):
Dear Confused,
If you're married and have three children together, then you need to sit him down and tell him that you can either work through your issues together in marriage counseling or you can go in the direction of a divorce so you can both move forward with your lives. He has a choice here: he either wants to work on improving your relationship and repairing the problems in your marriage that is causing him to have doubts or you have to separate. It's not fair for you to put your life on hold for him to make up his mind. If he won't make a decision, then you'll have to make one for him. That's my 3 cents on the matter.
Blessings to you and your family,
Zuri
Psychic, Reiki Healer and Numerologist
http://www.askzuri.com
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Yikes, 7 year itch!
He might feel stuck in a rut, his life might consist of the things that have kept him happy for the past 7/8 years, but now he feels a little stifled.
You could suggest doing things together to try to spice up his life - a holiday, a different car, doing a class or course together, a little variation in the bedroom...
If it's beyond that though, maybe he just needs to work off a little steam on his own for a while.
Talk to him - ask him the question you have asked us; is there a hope in the future for you as a couple/family, and should you wait for him?
Or should you take it as cut and dried that he is leaving, and move on with your life as a single parent?
He does owe it to you at least to be as honest as he can. Show him you do understand he is feeling stifled and confused.
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