A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am really sad because my husband didnt buy me anything for Valentines Day, and the worst part is that he tells me in the morning that he didnt get me anything, and that he will buy me flowers tomorrow.(which he probably wont) I just said its ok,you dont have to, and I kissed him, but deep down in my heart I am really hurt because same thing happened for my last birthday, and he told me that he didnt have any money to get me anything. I mean I am not asking for anything expensive, just like a card, or chocolate. Thats what I did, I got him a card, and I made him a cake, because thats all I was able to do since I am not working right now.The thing is that he bought things before we got married even for Valentines Day. It just makes me really sad when I think about it, he doesnt have §5.00 to spend for me. I really dont want to talk to him about it because I did after my birthday when we got into an argument, and i guess it didnt make a difference.So my question is did this happen to anyone else?I really dont want this to happen every year, any advice would be helpfull.I am really sad right now and it doesnt help to see him sleeping either.Thank you in advance
View related questions:
flowers, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010): I have know just how you feel. It can take years for him to get the message, I have been married for 21 years and although I always got a card, he never made a real effort, this year he had flowers delivered and took me for a meal, now I do hope you don't have to go this long to make him see what you need.
He does need to understand how him not bothering makes you feel, sit him down and without getting into an argument tell him.
Good Luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 February 2010):
Miamine has given some really good advice. Some guys aren't bothered by Valentine's Day. Some are. Your husband doesn't seem bothered about, nor does he seem bothered by your birthday either, which leads me to suspect that he might be a bit into himself. How does he treat you at other times? You can measure how much a man cares for you by what he DOES, not what he SAYS. So if he is being cold and ignorant the rest of the time as well, then it might be that you need to have a serious talk.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (15 February 2010):
 Some men just don't think that presents are important, and they don't understand how it makes people feel devalued. I always find it easiest to just tell them what to do. I write instructions telling them what to get and what to buy, and if they don't have any money, they can wait on me hand and foot instead.
Unfortunately, I'm one of them people who also doesn't bother with celebrations, so I really am not much help. If a man loves me, he shows me every single day and doesn't wait for birthdays and holidays to come around, somehow that's much more important. I'm also glad to get anything, except cards, flowers and what not, which costs too much money. I'd rather him buy me something I need like a new pair of shoes.
Remind him and keep reminding him next time, and if he forgets then grab his credit card and treat yourself.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010): sorry to hear about that. You are not alone, my husband spent the whole day at work, when he came back he said he was going to do some shoppings and i thought he was going to get me something but it turned out he was right he only came back with shoppings not even a flower or card for me. I have told him so many times that i do care about valentines but he said he doesn't. I persuaded him to take me to dinner which ended up with him talking about his work through out and dosing half an hour later after the main course. it was very annoying for me and we decide to come home early. He went to bed straight away as soon as we arrived. I couldn't sleep at night coze i kept asking myself if he really loves me at all. He says he loves me more than 5 times a day but i think sometimes actions speaks louder than words.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
...............................
|
