A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and i have been married for 5 yrs now.he had a 2 and half yr long affair that started soon after we got married with a woman he was closely related to and said it was to get back at his uncle (that woman's husband). i forgave him for this and carried on with the marriage.In february 2008, i found out he was having another affair and had been since march 2007(almost year).I was away in university in another country and only came home on holidays so he got to play single with her.When all this blew up he said he was done with the affair but he never stopped.He kept stringing us both along, to me he said he was done with the affair, and to her he said he was leaving me.The other woman finally told him to leave her alone coz he wasn't leaving me like he promised.I could see that he was heartbroken and missed her so i confronted him about it and he addmitted that he loves her and if that if it wasn't for me and our 2 yr old son and many other factors like society he would be with her.i told him to go with her rather than be with me out of guilt but he doesn't want to let me go.He says he is prepared to sacrifice his love for the other woman and try to love me again but i'm heartbroken and tired of it all and i just want to live.I'm afraid of what would happen if leave and am confused as to what i should really do.Anybody please help me out.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): My husband and I have been together for five years. We went to a party his lifelong friend was having. There were only 10-15 people there, most of them we knew. At the end of the night everyone had left and we were the last ones there. Everyone was really drunk but me. I was the only sober one since I was 6 weeks away from my due date.
He went inside to get his friend that rode with us who was sleeping. I stayed outside for not even 5 minutes and the friend that had the party went in to use the bathroom. I went inside not even a minute after him and when i walked through the house looking for him I could hear his friend say "don't worry I won't tell your old lady". I walked into the room and this girl that had been throwing herself at every guy at the party, and slept with one earlier, was laying on the bed and my husband was getting up. I couldn't belive what I was seeing. I took him to our house, packed my shit and went to live with my parents. It's been 3 weeks since then.
When I asked for the whole story, he said when he went inside to wake up the friend that rode with us, the girl came in the room they were in. She started kissing him and he kissed her back, they went into the other room where I found them and started having sex. He said if he wouldn't have been as drunk as he was, he never would have touched her. He says he's never cheated on me before, and he never will again. He also has sworn never to drink again. He wants our marrige to go back to what it was, but I don't know if it's possible.
I feel so heartbroken and unsure of myself. He says it was nothing I did, but I feel like I had to have screwed up somewhere. Every day I think about what I walked in on. It's like some kind of nightmare I never thought would happen to me. Will I ever stop thinking about it. Or am I doomed to think about it every time I think about my husband? Will I ever be able to trust him again?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): heya..this is madness-and youre both so young!!!dont hold on to the 'what ifs' and dont hold on to the memories.this man was clearly not thinking of you or your son when he was having an affair.you forgave him once...you forgave him twice-dont count on it being 3rd time lucky! this guy sounds like he's playing you for a fool. he has no idea of what the word 'love' or 'commitment' is.I reckon that you-being the intelligent woman you are-pack your bags and take your son with you.one day this man is going to regret loosing you!!! and before you know it he'll be on your dooorstepppppp begging you to take him back-*thats when you slam the door on his face*listennnnn my friend...if this had been the first affair i would have said 'hmm maybe you should forgive him' but i cant believe this guy!!! i dont even know you and it angers me that people behave like this.your heart is not a toy- it is not to be played with-dont let him do this to you!dont settle for being second best!!! what kind of example is he settting for his son!!!dont listen to your heart-listen to your mind!!!!!show this silly excuse of a man- what youre reallly abouttttt!!!!all the best and god bless...friend xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Emajayne +, writes (28 August 2008):
 I think u should leave and live ur life the way u want, because u are not enjoying the life u currently are leading.You are young and have the rest of ur life ahead of u. this guy cannot make himself fall in love with u, it just isn't on and it wont happen. How is society a factor??? this is your life! screw society. this is about two people who are supposed to be completely dedicated to eachother and hes gone and broken that bond TWICE! one of which to just simply get revenge. how old were u when u married eachother? i say u leave and live ur life. what is the worst that will happen? u stay with him and he cheats on u again...u remain the back up plan.
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