A
female
age
41-50,
*harris
writes:I am not in love with my husband anymore..what should I do?? I got married very young, early 20s due to finding out I was pregnant. Our marriage started off very rocky with a lot for us to overcome...I was still in college and he had never lived on his own so was thrown in to a lot of overwhelming things all at once. My husband has always been a good provider and hard worker. However his job meant that he was gone very early in the morning and off to bed early which meant me doing most of everything..raising the kids, full time job, and all the housework. I felt like a single parent with a live in dad. He was never a full participant in the father area, he loves his kids but just never took the time to do things with them or the family. Over the years I have built up resentment towards him because I never took time for myself. So we drifted apart and our arguing became much worse until finally I realized he had been cheating on me with a much younger girl for about 5 months, we have been separated for about 9 months. He has shown interest intrying to get back together and that he realizes his mistakes and wants to make things right to have his family back....the only problem is I have A LOT of anger built up inside and don't feel in love with him anymore...should I give him another chance for the family even if it makes me unhappy??? We have been married for 13 years and I have truly been unhappy and on depression medication for at least the last 5 years
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 If you dont love him then no dont take him back. It wouldnt be fair on you and it wouldnt be fair on the children to be living in a unhappy enviorment. Explain to him that you just want to make a life of your own now but also make sure that he gets contact with the children and allows you to have a break every now and again. Its important that he is still there for his children.
Its the sad reality that so many young people get married way to early and rob themselves of time were they can be care free. It sounds like you both rushed in to marriage way to soon and now you have paid the price for it. But remember you are still young and you have plenty of time to rebuild your life and your future. Dont get back with him just concentrate now on your own happiness and your children.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): If you go to a good therapist, it's expensive but it will very likely be worth it. Otherwise it looks like you're headed for divorce.
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