A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been married a year and even when we were dating my husband could not cum inside of me, he can when he masturbates but not when we are having sex, is there any solution to this problem, we've talked about it and he just says he cant and that he tries, I feel so down at times because I feel that I dont satisfy him, he says that I do and that he loves me, but what is the problem then is there a cure for this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): Has your husband had a long term relationship before you? If so, he may be so used to sex with her (sorry), that it is affecting sex with you.This happened to me...I was in a marriage for many years and I guess got used to the sensations with my wife and it was very easy to cum in almost any position. I never even had to think about it much. When we divorced and I started seeing a new girl, she felt so different, it took me MONTHS to have an orgasm from sex, and over a year before it was really "normal". It just took so long to "reprogram" myself to accept and anjoy the different feelings. We also have sex much more often, and that also exacerbates the problems.Other things may be that he is too used to masturbation, stressed, anxiety, etc. Dont worry...its NOT you. He has mental blocks. It will get better. May need to talk to a sex therapist tho.
A
female
reader, helpme7 +, writes (19 November 2010):
Your husband ejaculates when he masturbates. Does he do so when you give him oral sex? If so, the next question you may want to ask yourself is:
Does you husband want to have children? If so, then this is a problem that he should have checked out by a doctor. If not, then this could be his body's way of making sure he gets what he wants: no kids. If you want children and he doesn't then you may have bigger issues within your marriage.
Or perhaps he just gets too tired to finish? You could try positions that involve you doing more of the work, such as the cowgirl position.
And if he says you satisfy him, you do. He wouldn't keep having sex with you if he didn't want to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): i think your husband needs to go see a doctor about this, i wouldn't take it personally my guy occasionally can't if he is really stressed out from work etc, have you tried giving him a full body massage to check he is relaxed and comfortable?
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