A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It’s my birthday next week and I know my lovely husband has bought me an expensive gift. Unfortunately it’s not something that I want. I know that sounds so very ungrateful and even childish, but he does this every birthday, every an anniversary and every Christmas. He is so generous but the absolute worst gift giver. He buys presents that don’t fit me, aren’t anything like my style, things I already have and he spends so much money on them. They just sit around the house, unwanted and unused. He refuses to return or exchange them. It’s causes arguments most times. I have given him gift ideas of things I would like or enjoy. Such as those lovely cups I saw online, or supplies for my crafting hobby. I have told him I would rather spend the day together. Go for a nice drive and stop off at a cafe somewhere on the way. He just says I have enough of those things and a drive isn’t a real gift. He says he wants to buy me expensive things. I see that as ignoring my preferences in favour of his own. His gifts are very expensive and I know we could use the money for other things. Things we actually need or want for our home. He is so thoughtful in everything he does for me and I know he means well by trying to buy me things he wants me to have but after 23 years together he just still isn’t listening that his gifts upset me. He has told me that he is excited about his gift to me this year and that he knows I’m going to love it. I can see his happiness and excitement and I really don’t want to disappoint him. I know what this years gift is and I already have two that I rarely use. It has cost more than €1500. We could really use that money for other necessities at home. How can I stop upset and arguments this year?
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (3 March 2024):
 I don't think that most men mean to buy bad gifts its just that they are clueless. Isn't it easier to buy for your girlfriend sister mom than your husband or dad or male friend? Men usually just don't know. I was so lucky..my husband was so thoughtful when it came to gifts. He would give gift cards to my favorite stores, or buy my fave color roses or he would ask me. My dad always bought jewelry..never can go wrong with that but again, most men just don't know. Explain to your husband AGAIN that you would either like him to ask what you want or give you a gift card to your fave stores so that you are BOTH happy afterwards. I hope he listens!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 March 2024):
 I think some men are just not great at gift giving and some are. And... some CAN learn. My husband is the latter.
You know, he gave me a steam cleaner for my birthday once?! Yep, a steam cleaner...
After that I just gave him access to MY Amazon wishlist/Etsy and he's done SO much better ever since.
IS there a way to return what he is buying? And then spending the money as YOU please?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (2 March 2024):
 How about suggesting a gift card for a specific shop (such as Amazon)?
After this event is over, I mean.
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