A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband beats me every time I nag him about watching porn, his mother has treated me very badly in the past. We are living separately now. When I yelled at him today for his mother treating me badly he said am eating his head. He watches porn before the kids.I nagged him for that. He beat me continuously. Didn't stop, tried to break my hands. Beat me before the kids. They are crying. Beat me continuously on the mouth, breasts, buttocks etc. Didn't allow me to call anyone, married against my parent's wishes so no help there either. Am financially dependent on him? He says he is beating me because I yell and nag at him. Please Please guide me. In tears....A
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female
reader, belindar1  +, writes (21 July 2010):
go to the US OR Canada embassy!!!! Seek help you are in danger!!! get out of your country make a new life somewhere else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): In an ideal world i'd encourage you to leave him, but as there is kids involved and you live in an unstable country. stop nagging him, pretent to enjoy it if you can. to stop him watching in front of your children why not persuade him to wait untill they are in bed and use and incentive such as acting it out to encourage him. be safe xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): Hi there. In most countries, there are 'women's right groups'. Even in countries where cultures turn a blind eye to spousal abuse. I suggest you do a search yourself. Just type in the name of your country and the words "domestic abuse/woman's rights groups/organization" and start your own search for organizations that can help you. They will help you with counseling and advisement about your situation--it's crucial you feel safe and you need to find someone you can trust. I think this would be a positive place to get going and be proactive in helping yourself out of this situation and perhaps offering a better, future for your children. It's a tough place to be where you can't even trust the police to help you!? So..do the research and see what you can come up with. Take care and good luck to you and those wonderful kids of yours.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I don't live there.am sorry can't say where I come from.I can't go to police as there are lots of rape cases in police stations.A woman with out the protection of a father,brother or husband is fair game.am sorry for the trouble I caused the lady to search.Some people might say watching porn is ok.I hate it.When ever he beats me he says am getting beaten because I provoke him.It had stopped for 2 years.It has started today again.I am educated.I can find a job.problem is My children won't have a father.He beat me before the kid.My kid is looking dazed now.Is it worth staying on.He really twisted and screwed my hands very badly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I am sorry for your plight. Phil is correct, in some countries like yours, women and children are treated horribly and the husbands get away with it. There are several active women's rights groups, in your country that you could contact. Would getting in touch with the following organizations help? I did a quick google search and found out they: WILDAF, the Musasa Project, the Zimbabwe Women Lawyers' Association, the Women's Action Group, and the Zimbabwe Women's Resource Center and Network. These organizations do offer information, help and they are in place for improving women's knowledge of their legal rights, increasing their earning/ economic power, and combating domestic violence, in the home. They do focus on the issues of protection of women against domestic violence and they help with other serious issues that women face, in your country. I wish you the best hun. Stay strong and try to get you and your kids out of this situation. Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): If you were living anywhere else in the world I'd tell you to report him to the police, but if everything we read in the papers is correct, they'd side with your husband and probably give you a beating as well, so that's probably not a good idea.
Certainly he should have more sense than to watch porn in front of the kids and he's being very irresponsible in doing so.
I guess you're between a rock and a hard place, and the only advice I could possibly give you is to stop nagging him. You know what the result will be, so stop doing it.
Maybe if your parents saw the damage he's causing you they would be sympathetic towards your plight and give you a safe refuge from him. It's surely worth involving them if you can. No good parent would like to see their child treated in this manner.
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