A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is kind of embarassing to ask. My husband and I (married last weekend) are too shy to kiss! We kissed when the minister said kiss the bride, but before then it had been like a year since we kissed last..He is not the initiating type at all, and I used to initiate and kiss him (he'd kiss me back) but since he NEVER initiated it, I stopped doing it. I just felt stupid since I was the only one who tried. I know he likes it b/c before when I used to kiss him, he would get aroused..I know he is attracted to me b/c he wants sex from me every day almost. He does not look at porn like a lot of men. We were friends for 6 yrs. before we got together and we've been together for about 18 months. We have a baby and another one on the way.He is a really nice person, very moral and upstanding guy. He has never hurt me. He doesn't lie to me. He works hard for the family. It's just this kissing thing, it bothers me. In other relationships the guy always initiated kisses with me, so I guess since we're both too shy or whatever to initiate it, it just never happens. One time we were drinking last summer and I said something about being too shy to initiate kissing him and he said he knows, and he is too. I feel akward bringing this up to him and I feel like it's already been so long since we used to kiss, that it'd be weird if I started kissing him again. And I know if I did that he still would never initiate it. So I would be in the same place again. I am aware that I sound like a 12 year old, so you don't have to tell me. I know we're married and this should not be an issue between us. But it is, any advice?
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female
reader, Bella666 +, writes (19 September 2007):
 Hey, congratulations! Although i'm not married (but have a baby on the way too!) I sort of know how you feel. Although me & my partner kiss now & again I find it hard to do it for long, I giggle like a little girl & pull away. I think like you we just don't do it often enough & the longer you don't do it for the harder it becomes. But I think this could work to your advantage as it could keep the spark going in a long term relationship if you kiss now & again because if you don't do it that often it can feel fresh & new like if you've just meet someone & your having your first kiss but with the added bonus that it is with a man you know & love & who loves you back. I don't think you could change his views on it but be happy he's different to most guys who still think that moving their tongue around your mouth like a washing machine is so sexy & be happy that you actually get all the things from him that IS sexy.
Hope your futures happy & full of passionate meaningful kisses! xx
A
male
reader, esepalo1  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 Dont feel bad my wife some times get shy to kiss me in front of people but its ok ive been married 12 yrs and still shes shy to do anything public the biggest thing i comend you is that you were friends first before marrying big mistake people make is thet jump in to fast and it dont work being friends first seems to make a relationship last longer good job.Dont worry to each is own as long as the sparks fly behind closed door looks like it does you got 2 kids.lol :)
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A
female
reader, Ears4tears +, writes (19 September 2007):
 Congratulations on your recent marriage and forth coming birth!!!
Be assured that your not alone this happens to alot of couples, but the only way you can sort this is by talking it though with your husband and expressing your concerns. If talking is out of the question then why not write him a letter, i know that some people might see this as quite childish but this way you can say exactly what you think and feel and at the same time avoid the embarassment of facing him.
x x x
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (19 September 2007):
Make a deal that you two will kiss every day. He must be the iniator or even numbered day and you will be the iniator on the odd numbered days.
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A
female
reader, faith scott boreanaz +, writes (19 September 2007):
 Ok, heres what i'd do (Please know your not alone as i went through the same thing) this may seem perverted to some people but it worked for me and one of my guys. when your alone together and the moods right, tell him how turned on you used to be when HE kissed YOU even if you weren't. or you could say something like "If you kissed me right now i would want you so much"
but seeing as you and your husband are shy about this issue then maybe you can talk to him OR get one of your friends to tell him "She wants you to kiss her" but ofcourse they dont tell him you asked them to say it.
hope you get your desired kiss, Faith.
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