A
female
age
30-35,
*aryndanae
writes:My husband and I are separated. We both worked through these issues on our own but now he met another girl. I'm due in April with our first child and he came up to the hospital yesterday because I was in preterm labor. His car is broken so he had no other way but to have this girl bring him bc he lives an hour away. Her daughter came with too and her and her daughter came in for 2 minutes to say hi and then left. I could tell he was really annoyed with her daughter bc shes nuts and he told me he hates the way she parents her daughter. He has told me hes not attracted to her but tells her he loves her? I think part of it might be to have a place to live, but do you really think he loves her if he says hes not attracted to her and hates the way she parents? When we were leaving she was in her car already and he stopped me and hugged me for like 2-3 minutes and then kissed me on the forehead and when we were in the hospital room, he kept wanting to touch me, whether it was my hand or stomach... I know this sounds dumb, but do you think he could be considering coming back? I've made it clear to him that I'm in this till the end, and that I love him no matter what. I just don't know what to do... do you think there is any hope for our marriage? We were so in love but it was issues that got in the way but I'm still completely in love with him... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ja2o +, writes (9 March 2010):
I am in the same situation minus the pregnancy. I realized that he was having inappropriate relationships with woman and was not standing for it anymore. I got a TRO because when I confronted him with it he acted nuts. I immediately filed for divorce and didn't have to deal with him until recently when he finaly got to see our children. Now he is playing both sides. Claiming he has nowhere else to go. Claiming he doesn't love her and is critical of how she raises her son. He constatnly cites that he can not be with me because I hurt him. And made him feel unwanted. I was going for reality check/wake-up call. And he now is trying to keep both relationships going. Going so far as to ask if we could all live together. You need to cut him off on some comfortable level for you and see if he is willing to get rid of what is causing you pain. Nine times out of ten they are really the one with the problem and you deserve way better. Better might be him in 12 months or better might be the man of your dreams. Often times we hurt ourselves trying to fix something we need to leave broken.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (5 February 2010):
 Have you actually asked HIM if he's interested in saving your marriage?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): There is always hope. My wife and I have been married for 38 years, and 23 years ago, after having several affairs, I would have bet the house that our marriage was at an end. One day I was looking in the mirror and ask God when was he going to deal with me. Big mistake or Big blessing, I finally came to realize what was important to me and with a lot of prayer I have a great relationship with my wife. The secret is prayer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): i think you need to move on. If you were really going to get back together he will need to be serious about it and commit to fixing your marriage. The fact that he is spending his energy elsewhere means that he is not fully committed to making this work. When a marriage is in trouble even to the point of seperation both parties have to be 100% committed to fixing things or else it won't work. Don't waste your time with mister one foot in and one foot out. Find a man who is fully committed to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): well... it looks to be as if he is playing you both hes all sayin to you he don't love her and stuff but then telling her he does... he might just be with her to make you jelouse or like you said somewhere to live ... but you have allso said that he can have you back then why ?? is he not comeing back you need to take a step back and look and see if this is what you realie want because by the sounds of it you deser better but however if you so stick you should sit him down and ask him what he wants because hes giving you mixed signals so just ask him straight and he stays with he then move onn i kno sounds hard but yo u can't wait round forever .... hop eit helped x
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A
female
reader, aaryndanae +, writes (5 February 2010):
aaryndanae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI used to have problems lying and problems with anger but I have been going to counseling and my husband has admitted that he sees the change in me and that he noticed I don't lie anymore and my anger problems have for the most part subsided.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 February 2010):
 What were those issues that caused the separation?
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A
female
reader, aaryndanae +, writes (5 February 2010):
aaryndanae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, he was texting me some yesterday and he usually doesn't talk to me at all.
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