A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It seems like me and my hubby never get the amount of time together that we want. We live in two different cities in the same state that are about an hour and a half apart. We have been married now for one year. I thought he was going to be with me for three days, but then the fire cheif came to his mom's house and told her to call him, so he had to go back and do some work, since we need the money. I also work more lately at my job. I have been given more hours, now that my bosses are feeling more comfortable with my work? We just got a used car that works better than his other car that he is going to give to me when I get my permit/license. I have one more year left of college. It's like my diary is becoming my new best friend. I have a few close friends, but yeah I have been getting lonely without him. He tells me that he will call, but then work gets to be too hectic for him, and since I have to go to work the next day sometimes, we don't get to talk, and I just go straight to bed. I find myself missing the beginning of the relationship, when things were new, and I'm sure we spent more time together then. I know that this is just a transitional period, but is there anyone out there going through something like this, who can relate? I'm sure there is, I'd just like to read some similar stories, and since there is such limited time that you spend with your spouse (if you are sharing a similar situation that happened or that you have been through) what do you do with the precious time alotted you? How do you make the most of the time that you do spend together? This is actually weird for me, because I used to love my alone time, and still do to an extent, but every now and then I get these moments where I feel clingy towards him, like I want to be with him. Idk if this means that I love him more or what. His eyes were alittle red when he told me that he had to go. And sometimes when he is gone for awhile, the lines of communication are not so great and we fight. And then I wonder if we will get along when we move in one day, or if I will get sick of seeing his face or something. Currently we both live at our parents' houses.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your inputs.
A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (2 August 2009):
 This problem should be discussed with your spouse. Anything that bothers you should better not be swept under the rug, and of course it bothers you, you're just married, it's only natural. There are many articles out there with tips about surviving the distance and LDRs. Search for them!What I'd like to stress... You say "I find myself missing the beginning of the relationship, when things were new, and I'm sure we spent more time together then." You may discover he feels the same way about this if you talk about how the distance is affecting you. However, this was probably expected and discussed prior to marriage that you would at times live apart, and an ill approach can only augment the distance, so don't make it seem you are complaining: in fact, you are expressing your desire and remind him how he is needed.While it was probably discussed and settled that there would be times like this, they are obviously proven more difficult now, in practice, with all the efforts to keep in touch and the fear of failing. You don't say how long this situation will last until you can find your way back to each other, and I'm sure this is so much harder when you are newly married, and more so if you are the touchy-feely kind of person, but you can still craft a marriage that makes sense. What is important is that you keep working at being intimate and closely related, in your hearts and in your minds, so this feeling of closeness can subsist even when you are apart. Choose a time when you are both free of other worries and can talk in peace about how you will manage to keep your marriage fresh and new despite of this handicap. In the end, that is what distance can be and you are feeling it on your own skin. That you wonder if you will be sick by seeing him again is your fear talking, and it seems it's quite a big scary factor. But the distance alone shouldn't have this effect because you knew the conditions and the one you married. Even if your agendas are so difficult now, you could for example compensate the time apart by making very special come back parties in two, where you only have eyes for each other and so on and so forth. The time you are away, keep in touch however many times possible. LDRs have much to do with understanding, patience and trust. Sometimes he may not be able to get back to you right away or be to busy to do so, if this releases all kinds of monster thoughts in one's head, you know you are not at the right path. Not everyone can to cope with a LDR, and to some it can be harder but you are married for a reason, you want to make it work, through good and bad times, hopefully you both remember this, and if you are unsure, get your reasurrance from him. All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): I'm going through a similar situation right now and it sucks. The thing is, I seem to be the only sad one, he's just totally absorbed with work. I know we're going to make it, but it just downright hurts sometimes how badly I want to hold him. I hate when you get the "teaser" conversation - one minute of "how are you?" "I'm good, how are you?" "Tired, I was just calling to say I'm going to bed, goodnight!"
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