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female
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anonymous
writes: how do i tell my husband that he spends too much time with a male friend and this friend is always here as soon as my husband opens his eyes until he walks back in the door again. they also work together. i would be grateful if you could tell me how to approach the subject to my husband as he gets all defensive when this other person gets mentioned, what do i do ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 If his friendship actively interferes with your relationship you need to ask him to atlk to you and befroe you begin to talk ask him to actually LISTEN to what you have to say without getting defensive.
If you are just having problems with him needing somebody else in his life to provide comfort and support to him and this is maybe touched a little by jealousy, then look closely at your motives for wanting to split this friendship up.
I would love to chat with you about this percieved problem, but would like some more information about it.
You say he gets defensive about it being mentioned....how? Is he defensive because you start by *accusing him? (I am just asking, this is NOt what I think)
Do he see him to the detriment of his family? Is there any reason to believe it may be more than friendship? Have you really tried to tell him how hurt you are feeling when he doesnt listen....?
Keep us posted and I wish you luck.x
A
female
reader, Faerie_Queen +, writes (16 March 2006):
 Is your husbands friend single? Play cupid and fix him up with one of your friends or work colleagues. One of two things could happen with this, 1. He'll find love and spend more time with his new woman than with your husband, or 2. He'll get so fed up of you trying to match make that he won't come round to the house as much.
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